Scarred (on hold)

Chapter 1...

I know no-one except for you guys are going to read it, so it don't bother me about how shit it is. 

'I'm hurting so bad inside I wish you could see, that I'm stuggling to be someone that isn't even close to me.'

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I closed my eyes, pain was searing through my body. Not again, not again I prayed. I opened my eyes to see him standing there grinning. "James, please stop." I pleaded.   

"I never wanted to hurt you in the first place princess...' he told me.  " but you forced me to it, now tell me,' he urged yanking my hair harder, so i was now facing the laptop screen. "who is he?" I stayed silent. He yanked my hair harder and I could feel the tears forcing there way out. "I don't know, really. He just became my fan on wattpad today. I don't know who he is." i replied honestly. 

He raised his hand to slap me across the face. I closed my eyes and waited for the pain to come. This was normal. Just breathe and ignore it'll soon be over with. Oh who am i kidding? He'll never let this pass. There was a knock at the door and it took him by suprise. 

"Sam, James, can I come in?" my mum called. I wiped my tears and tried to compose myself. They would never need to be under this pain or worry, i'd never let them worry about me. They'll never be able to stop him, it'll just make it worse. I rereminded myself again, i do it everytime I try standing up to him, or feel it gets too much.

"yeah mum, come in." I yelled hoping my voice sounded alright. My mum walked in with a tray of food in her hand. " I brought you kids something to eat." she said. I looked at James, my 'boyfriend' he was tapping his fingers against the computer table, impatiently. I knew what he wanted, he wanted mum to leave. No way. I'd had enough today. The bruise on my back from earlier and the headache were enough.  "Awww... too bad mum, James is just leaving. Aren't you James?" I said. I didn't look at him. I didn't have the courage.  But I knew he was glaring at me. "Yes, Mrs Smith. I am leaving." he muttered with gritted teeth and walked out.

I sat on my bed and sighed in relief as i heard his car drive away. Finally. "hmm...that was odd." My mum said.

"hmm.." i replied. My head was killing and my back was aching. 

"Sam, is everything alright with you and your boyfriend?" She asked curiously. I cringed at the word boyfriend. More like abuser, life sucker, possessor. 

"yeah, I'm just feeling hot, I'm going to take a shower." I say and walk to the bathroom, evidently evading the question. 

As the hot water of the shower fell on my body, I tried to washing away his touch. Impossible. Tears slid down my face. Why was i going through this? Do i even have to? Can't i get rid of him? Why? I can't put mum and dad in pain. I reminded myself.  

I thought back to the day when i had first spoken to him. He'd always stay to himself, and I'd feel bad so that day I walked up to him.

The biggest mistake of my life.

I remembered those times when he used to be sweet, so caring. What happened? I always remember: 'we stopped checking for monsters under our bed when we realies they were inside us.' 

I looked in the mirror before I started putting my clothes on, I saw the wounds, the cut marks on my stomach, the purple bruise on my back from his kick today. I looked away. No-one could see this. I put on my extra baggy t-shirt and bottoms on. I looked at the time 8:30.

I walked down to the kitchen and grabbed somthing to eat, and then made my way back to my bedroom, I turned the laptop on and signed into wattpad. I looked at the boy that had become my fan. The reason for James anger. How could he think i'd cheat on him? like i would dare take up that sort of wrath on me! 

At 1:45, I'd just finished reading a book and was about to sign out when I receievd a message. James. With shaky hands I opened it.

'I'll pick you up for school tomorrow princess, you better tell me who he is.'

I shivered.It wasn't over. There was more pain to come. More questions but the same answers. Again and Again. I closed the laptop flap and curled into a ball, and let myself cry to sleep. Just as the days first light appeared I felt myself drift to sleep.

I woke up with a jolt. "Sam, wake up, wake up" my brother yelled.

"Argh... Shut up Jason." I whined.

"It's 7:50!"

I opened my eyes. Widely. I instantly jump oyt of bed. James. James will come. I got ready as quick as I could and ran out the house. As i cycled out the street and onto the corner, I heard James car turning into our drive. 

I was cycling as fast as i could. I reached the school and was out of breath. I looked around for James's Car. Not here. Yet! Just as i was going to sigh in relief, i felt a hand on my shoulder.