My Saving Grace - Brallon

Questions

When I woke up, Ryan was back, like he wasn't even gone. Was last night a dream? I decided to question Ryan.

"Ryan, where were you last night? Did the doctors make you leave? Where did you go?" I rushed out.

"What do mean, I didn't go anywhere last night, I was here with you," Ryan insisted.

I was more confused than ever, was I just dreaming then? It seemed so real, but Ryan says he was here.

"Are you sure? I woke up and you weren't here, I swear," I questioned.

"Maybe you are going crazy," Ryan teased.

"Oh, shut up, Ryan," I shot back at him. I'm not crazy and I didn't even want to joke about being crazy.

"I'm sorry, Bren, I didn't think it affected you that much," Ryan consoled.

I looked over across the room at Dallon's bed, who was still sleeping soundly, unlike last night.

I was very puzzled, why wasn't Ryan there last night? I knew it couldn't have been a dream, but why couldn't I see him anywhere. I sat on my bed, quietly pondering this. I sat there until Dr. Wentz came to take us to breakfast, having to wake up Dallon as he was still sleeping.

I sat with Ryan at a table, choosing not to sit with any of the other lunatics they kept here. I don't belong here. I was eating quietly while listening to Ryan criticize everyone in the room. Apparently he had nothing better to do. After a minute or two, Dallon walked over and just sat at our table, not saying a word.

"What is he doing here?" Ryan said. "I don't remember ever inviting him over."

"I don't know," I answered. Today seemed very peculiar. Why did Dallon come sit with us, he didn't come last night at dinner. Maybe this was about me helping him last night, proving further that it wasn't a dream. I have never bee more confused.

Dallon looked at me sympathetically, like I was the crazy one or something. We all just sat there quietly, not saying a word to each other. We sat in silence until breakfast was over. Dr. Wentz came over to me and asked me to come with him.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"We're going to talk in my office, I do this with all the patients." He replied.

"Are we going to talk about me leaving? I don't belong here, I'm not crazy," I declared.

"We'll see," he answered.  

What did he mean, I shouldn't be here. I just wanted to go home with Ryan, and not live in this horrible place. 

We arrived at Dr. Wentz's office and walked inside. He gestured to the chair in front of the desk and I sat down. He sat in the chair behind the desk and looked at me.

"So Brendon, you were sent here by your family, after they decided that you needed help," Dr. Wentz informed.

"But why? I don't understand it," I said.

"It's because you've been seeing Ryan," he answered.

"What's so bad about that? No one ever had a problem with us before," I said.

"The problem is that Ryan is dead," he said. "He died months ago, in the fire."

"No he didn't!" I exclaimed. "He's right there!"

I pointed to where Ryan had been standing since we entered the room. Dr. Wentz slowly shook his head.

"No, there's no one there, Brendon" he said.

I shook my head furiously, he was there, he was real and alive. This had to be some sick joke. I can't believe they would do this. Does this mean Ryan was in on it too? I couldn't even think straight, I was so mad.

"This has to be a joke!" I shouted. "Ha ha, very funny, whose idea was it? Was it yours, Ryan?"

I turned to look at Ryan, and he shook his head.

"I didn't know anything about it, Bren," Ryan replied.

"No, Brendon, this is not a joke. We think you might have started seeing him after he died. That the loss was too much for you to handle, so you recreated him in your mind," Dr. Wentz explained.

"No, you're lying! He's just as real as everyone else!" I argued. My hate for this place grew even more, how could they say that? I'm not crazy, Ryan is real.

"I'm not crazy!" I shouted.

"Brendon, I'm sorry to tell you this, but if crazy equalled genius, you would be a rocket scientist," said Dr. Wentz.

I heard Ryan stifle a laugh, I turned to glare at him.

"Ryan, this is not the time to be laughing! This is serious!" I shouted at him.

"I'm sorry, Bren, but that was kinda funny. It won't happen again," responded Ryan.

I then stood up and stormed out of the room, heading towards the common room, where all the other patients were. I was already extremely upset and Ryan laughing just pushed me over the edge.

I sat down in the corner of the room and started crying. I started repeating, 'I am not crazy'  over and over in my head. After a couple minutes, I felt a couple of arms wrap around me.

"Go away, Ryan, I want to be left alone," I mumbled.

"I'm sorry, Bren, I didn't mean to upset you," Ryan replied.

"I'm not crazy, you are real, I wouldn't be able to feel you if you weren't real," I said, mostly to myself.

"I'm sorry, baby, I wish this wasn't happening to us," Ryan replied.

"I want to go home!" I sobbed into his shoulder.

"I know, I do too," he replied.

I sat in Ryan's arms for what felt like hours, there was no way for this to not be real. All I wanted was to be home with Ryan, not here with the doctors' lies. I absolutely do not belong here, I am not crazy. Any more of these lies and it might drive me crazy. I have had enough for one day, and it's just barely started.

A.N.

I do not feel confident in the first part, so I'm adding the second part

I'm really excited for this so I will probably update again soon. The other parts are way better than these two, so Im excited for them to be put up.

I'm sorry, I keep accidentally publishing the part I'm working on. And I just unpublished this, I'm sorry...