Remember me

Chapter Three

It wasn't as if Alec didn't want it. He did. He really did. It was more like... He didn't want to admit it.

His lips were unmoving against Magnus's soft own. The shock of it still sinking in when Magnus pulled away looking startled.

"Sorry I didn't reali-" Alec cut him off.

"W-What was that?" he gasped touching his lips softly as if he still couldn't believe Magnus had kissed him.

Magnus opened and closed his mouth, not knowing what to say.

"Magnus I'm sorry.. I'm straight." the word felt wrong even before he said it. The way his lips moved as he said "straight" felt wrong. Everything about the word felt wrong. No, wrong was an understatement.

"Straight?" Magnus asked raising an eyebrow.

Alec was about to nod then said,"I-I don't know."

That's when it hit Magnus. Alexander didn't know. He was just coming to the realization that he was gay. He'd thought he was putting on a show for everyone else. Not getting involved in any romantic relationship to hide his sexuality. But that wasn't it. He was lost. Had this been his first kiss? Yes.. Without a doubt it had.

"I..." Alec seemed at a loss for words.

Magnus smiled softly,"It's okay, if you just want me as a friend I'm okay with that." He wasn't. He was not okay with that but he loved Alexander and he would rather himself be hurt a million times than to hurt Alec once.

"Thank you." Alec smiled warmly at him and a look of raw agony flashed through Magnus's face. Gone too fast to be recognizable.

And that's when he himself realized how much he wanted to be with Alec. How wrong he was to have let the walls fall down. How unprotected he had been when he was with Alec. The smile that made his heart ache. The touch that seemed to make his heart want to leap from his chest. He'd often thought of Alec while he looked in the mirror and saw in his eyes a part of his demon side fall away replaced by a look of warmth. He knew what it was. It had happened before. But this time it was much stronger. That warmth in his eyes. It was love. It was adoration.

"Its gone again.." Alec whispered, breaking Magnus's thoughts.

Magnus's eyes flicked up to meet Alecs. "What's gone?" he question.

"The glamour.. Your eyes.." Alec mumbled scooting closer to him and touching his cheek ever so gently. He looked into his eyes. Not scared or disgusted. He looked at them with utter and complete adoration. He looked at them with love.

Magnus looked away. The love he didn't know he had.

That night he fell asleep next to Magnus. His eyes closed as he softly breathed in his best friends scent. He liked it even though he would never admit it. He was afraid that the second he admitted he liked the way he smelled or dressed Magnus would give him a complete make over and he did not want that.

"He was talking again." Jace was saying to Izzy. His head in his hands. "I heard him." They were in the training room. Their skin glistening with sweat.

Izzy frowned, saying nothing. She sat beside Jace, slumping into the corner tiredly.

"Maybe we should take him out tonight.. Let him breath in some fresh air.. Go on a mission?" Jace suggested looking up worriedly. That was all he'd been talking about throughout their whole workout session. Alec, Alec, Alec. But then Izzy couldn't blame him. She didn't know what it felt like to have a parabatai.

"Absolutely not!" Izzy said instantly, she dreaded the thought of him going out on a mission just as much as she dreaded letting Max go.

"Right," Jace smiled coldly. "We'll just keep him in his room and let him go crazy."

"That isn't what I said." Izzy replied sharply. "I'll talk to him." she continued after a pause, not letting him speak or make a face as she stood and walked away leaving Jace looking worse than he had in the first place.