Remember me

Chapter One

"You're not coming." Jace repeated leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. It was about the millionth time he said this and Alec was just beginning to realize he wouldn't win this argument.

"Why not?" Alec asked stubbornly once again. He stared out as the rain slowly dripped down the roof of the institute. The clear drops of rain falling down, down to the ground. So beautiful. So free.

"I can manage." Alec insisted pocketing a small bag of Yin fen.

"No." Jace shook his head,"Mom said to come tell you, not to make any deals with you. Alec, this is for your own good. You have to understand. The less missions the more time you have to live. We can't keep doubling your Yin fen supply each time you come. Its expensive for one. And its killing you faster for another."

"So?!" Alec growled. "All shadowhunters risk their lives in missions not just me."

"Alec.." Jace sighed and walked over, gently taking his hand.

Alec flinched, taking his hand away with a jerk.

"I'll be back before you know it." Jace murmured, his hands falling to his sides.

"Whatever." Alec muttered.

Jace walked out hesitantly, stopping on his way out

"I love you, brother." he said closing the door.

Alec flinched.

"He's right you know?" Said a voice behind Alec when the footsteps had faded into nothingness.

Alec turned to see his cat-eyed friend.

"Magnus.. I just want to go out like him and fight like I was meant to.." he murmured going to sit back next to the window at the edge of his bed.

Magnus followed him, stepping out of the closet where he'd been hiding when Jace walked in.

"Its okay.. You'll get better. I promise. I will make sure of that." Magnus said gently.

Alec shook his head,"I want to be better now.." he whispered.

"I know.. I know." Magnus murmured

Alec looked at him, eyes narrowed. "You don't know. You don't know, Magnus." his voice was cold.

Magnus flinched,  hurt flashing in his eyes.

"I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to-" Magnus interrupted with a shake of his head,"No you're right. I don't know, I don't know why I said I did." he mumbled taking his hand.

Magnus' hand glowed with a bright blue color.

Alec relaxed, his magic taking an edge off his hunger for Yen fin. His dark eyes slowly filling with color, his face as well.

"There are those beautiful blue eyes." Magnus said smiling softly.

Alec blushed,"I'm sorry." he murmured looking at the ground.

"Its okay darling." Magnus reassured him.

He changed the subject,"So how is the most beautiful Shadowhunter in the world doing?" he asked teasingly.

Alec rolled his eyes,"Lonely without you." He admitted after a pause to think.

Magnus grinned his catlike eyes brightening, "Everyone needs a hot warlock in their life!"

Alec laughed,"Too bad I don't have one." he teased.

Magnus growled playfully, "Oh you don't now?"

He tickled him on his side, his delicate spot.

Alec gasped out a laugh,"No, Magnus" he whined.

Magnus tickled him more until Alec started to snort. "Stop. That." Alec cried out laughing hard, his whole body shaking as he desperately tried to remove his hands from his sides.

"No..." Alec moaned, laughing hard.

"Say I am the hottest warlock ever." Magnus growled watching the writhing Shadowhunter laughing so hard that tears were starting to run down his cheeks.

"You.. You. Are. The. Hottest. Warlock... Ever." Alec choked out between laughs.

"Good." Magnus said stopping then Alec rolled on top of him at a surprising speed, pushing him down on the bed.

Magnus gasped looking up at him and Alecs heart beat fast as he watched Magnus underneath him. The warlock he had thought of as his best friend. But now as he looked down at him, his eyes looking up at him expectantly and with a warmth he had never seen before his heart made a very painful flip. His vision blurred as his heart beat faster as if trying to escape his chest. Alecs confidence failed him, slipping away as the color of his face did, leaving him pale, frozen, and white.

He rolled onto his back curling up into himself and coughing out blood as his body began to shake and then the door opened. He heard a clatter as dishes were dropped and voices as someone tried taking the Yin fen from his nightstand and making him take it half unconscious. He remembered looking around for Magnus, moaning out his name in pain as his heart ached feeling as if it would burst then letting the darkness take him. Feeling a sting of relief as he let go of everything.

"What happened back there?" Jace asked as they walked along the garden.

"I don't know.. I guess I forgot to take the Yin fen." he murmured, he had woken up not too long ago. His hands were still shaking a little but that was okay as long as no one noticed. Everything was well.

"But I saw you take some this morning." Jace insisted shaking his head. "You took enough for a few inactive days. What happened after I left? The truth."

Alec bit down hard on his bottom lip, he knew exactly what had happened. He let his emotions out of control. He'd been this close to telling Magnus something he hadn't even realized until now. His heart had beat faster than he had thought possible. He was thrown back to the past.

He'd been crying in his room. He was 15 at the time and then his sister walked in. His sweet little sister looking at his older brother. Her older brother that she had thought was strong and fearless. Then she realized he was strong. Strong enough to face his emotions other than force them away. She sat with him, hugging him tightly.

She had kissed his forehead and then told him a story. A story for children. A fairytale.

"And he was finally free. That was what he had always wanted, having been locked in a room all his life. But he had an empty feeling in his heart." Izzy had whispered to him.

"He wondered around. Lost and cold inside, wondering what it was that he was missing. Then one day a very handsome man came along. And slowly they became friends. His empty heart filling every second he spent with this handsome man. And he realized one day that maybe he didn't want him as a friend. When the handsome man walked into the room he was breathless, his heart wanted to break out of his chest and he had this urge to hold him close. To protect him."

Alec who had been listening intently curled up, hugging his legs to his chest. "Why couldn't it be a girl?" he whispered.

Izzy tilted her head to a side,"Does it matter? If he loved him that wouldn't be a problem because he would accept him just the way he was. And when he confessed to the handsome man that's exactly what happened, they accepted even the smallest parts of each other. Taking in every precious piece. Every priceless piece of each other." Izzy had said. He hugged Alec then, a kiss to his cheek before walking out with a soft caring smile.

"Alec!" Jace snapped, irritated.

"Huh?" Alec said hurled back into reality.

"By the angel, Alec!" Jace sighed. "Just- nevermind, whatever." he mumbled

Alec looked confused but something inside told him that he didn't wanna know what he was on about. He shook it off, now all he could think of was getting back to Magnus and apologizing for his sickly behavior.

When Alec and Jace arrived back to the institute everything was quite. The sky dark as the stars rose up to the sky. Alec jogged up the institute steps with Jace close behind. He threw the door open, his mind jumbled up with thoughts of what he would say to Magnus.

Jace raised an eyebrow, confused on why Alec had this dreamy look and why he was in such a hurry. Asking him wouldn't help so instead he slowed and watched Alec head to his room. He was gonna get to the bottom of this.