Perspective

An Idea

Over 300 reads came quickly, for me at least. I love how much attention I've gotten so far, and I hope you guys enjoy, or continue to enjoy, what's to come. And here's to more readers and support in the future!

~Host Sans

I've lost track of time, I'm not paying attention to the outside world, I've lost any will to keep trying. I've just left myself, stuck in a place in between the real world and a realm of nightmares. All this time, I've haven't been doing anything other than hating myself for what I did and staring at my brother's soul. Maybe he could come back? But, then again, wouldn't he suffer more if he was conscious, or who's to say he's not right now? I've been staring at his soul for so long, I haven't been bothered to check my own. When I do, I notice something, my soul is still the exact same, sure it has a few cracks but those have been there for a long time. Nothing has changed, no more cracks, exactly the same as the last time I checked. And as I look at my brother's soul, there are a lot of cracks, and his soul has dimmed a significant amount. I don't know how I didn't notice before. Why am I still alive?

It's not the first time I've let him down though, there have been countless times, yet they're all the same. My brother dying isn't really a shock now, but the reason it stung so much, leaving permanent marks on my memories, was because I was the one who struck and saw dust on my hands.

No, it wasn't me, it was the parasite, I can't be blaming myself for this. It was its fault that I pushed myself to the breaking point, it was its fault my body burned so much with pain that I couldn't see what I was doing, and it was its fault that I've been here for who knows how long blaming myself for his dust being scattered in the snow. Besides, it was one Papyrus in a multiverse of many, many others. Who knows, maybe the human reset and he's alive and well, he probably won't even remember this. Now that I've tried to assure myself as best as I can, despite the soul in front of me, that was blatant evidence that my assumptions were false, I finally got thinking again and worked out some of my flaws trying to escape all the other times. I've been trying to do one thing, escape, nothing else. The same thing, over and over again, thinking I can get a different result if I do the exact same thing. Every. Single. Time. Even when I know as a fact, that my body is getting weaker as the parasite gets stronger, I don't stop and look where it's gotten me. I ended up killing my brother, no, it's the parasite, you're not to blame, I just have to keep telling myself, maybe it will help me ease some of my pain.

It's only occurred to me now that I should be asking myself this question. Am I going to go crazy? Or maybe I've already gone insane? I haven't communicated with the outside world in so long, any memories that happened recently are mostly a blur if I give them only a small window of time, and all this time, through all my pain, I've been talking to myself asking questions. Asking who? Are there people reading my thoughts, is this something I should even worry about?! I mean, it's a multiverse, it's not impossible. At least I haven't been hearing voices.

Maybe this thing has not only been leeching at my energy and life-force but also my sanity. Maybe it needs it to understand and manipulate other people? Too many "maybes" I need answers.

I'm getting too into things again, I just need to focus on the task at hand, there has to be something else I can do, everything else I have done (although being the same thing) has failed. I want to avenge Papyrus. Who knows how many others have been affected by this, thing. I keep staring at Papyrus' soul, cracking more and more every time I look away, looking like it will shatter any minute now. I feel like my body is getting hotter and hotter, it's something different from the flames that usually cover my body, it's similar but different at the same time. I feel a usual burning sensation, then I'm unwillingly getting closer to my brother's soul, getting hotter and hotter, yet it makes me feel something else, some kind of will to not give up, although things seem hopeless. It continues to burn like my body can't handle it, although it's a splitting ache, I feel as though I'm getting more energy. It stings, but it's telling me not to give up. Suddenly I'm separated from this feeling, I open my eyes and now I'm further away from the soul. The energy I had for only a few wonderful moments was gone. Then I see tentacles wrapping around the soul, squeezing the last remnants of life-force from his soul until I see it shatter before my eyes.

I'm angry, sad, and in pain, all over again. I can't let this keep happening. Then it hits me. There's only one way that I can think of now that can solve this, no more improvising an escape. Now is the time for careful planning and waiting for an exact moment. I will avenge my brother and finally break free. I have to kill the parasite. But how?