Perspective

Shades

Wow. 400 is a pretty big number, thank you for helping me reach it! Stay Fresh broskis!

~Fresh
Instead of risking going to a random universe, especially without the extra source of power, and my host probably trying to gain control, I decide to go to a universe that I've been to before. One that I know isn't dangerous. I saw that where I got the soul from had been a success before, I thought I might go again, this way, there's a low chance of any strange encounters. Hopefully, I can get the soul from the same skeleton. He was an easier target than I suspected, and I hope for another swift, successful job well done. I find that specific universe, open a portal, and hop through.

Things may or may not have taken a wrong turn, drastically.

I didn't get a soul from that universe, but at least there are many others out there exactly like them. One of the charms of the multiverse. Hopefully, some don't have the same problem that the last one had. Long story short, when I got there the human didn't reset. I ended up dusting a lot more people than I usually do, along with killing a human. Unfortunately, my second choice for getting a new soul, escaped, knowing what I was doing, and what exactly I was.
While I was there, I noticed a few problems, some from my host, and others probably from that determination. Guess I couldn't have survived that completely unscathed. One, I was hearing voices, more than usual, and they wouldn't go away, even if I was talking to people. I couldn't ease my stress that whole time, but I tried to play it cool. Second, I had some kind of uncontrollable coughing, it could've been from choking on Determination, all the dust that I must have breathed in, or holding back the host for a long time. Luckily, most of the time it happened away from anyone that would have been around to hear. Third, the one witness got away. This I'm not too fearful of, after all, if he tries to tell someone that a multi colored, rad skelebro like me tried to attack and kill him, he would sound crazy. But I do know that letting him get away was entirely the host's fault. Every time I got a weird side glance or stare from the other Sans, I could see that my shades looked a bit different, I couldn't see much through them as it is, so I just brushed it off as nothing. Then once he got away, my suspicions were realized, my host found out how to change my glasses.

My glasses, my rad shades. One of the only things that keep me from fearing the worst when around people. They hide who I am, and it's a very, very good thing. When I controlled my first host, I grew attached to the glasses, they made me feel safe. They protected me from unwanted glances and stares. When people couldn't see what I was doing on the inside, I didn't feel fear, sometimes, I even felt like I was wanted.

Then finding out that the thing that protected me, could be used against me, could be used to cause my downfall, my death, I became unsettled and scared. I had to calm myself from all the anxiety in between conversations. Those were some of the most stressful moments of my life. Thinking that at some point, I'll just stop living, never to be heard of again, forgotten. I never wanted that to happen, that host was dusted almost immediately afterward. I moved onto a new one, this new one could still communicate, but could only say the two words. "HELP ME." That has been all that the hosts can say through the shades, and that was what kept me from worrying (at least a little bit,) until now. It wasn't as much as the previous one could do, he could hold full conversations, sharing the information he got from my thoughts that I would have when I thought I was alone. Back then, I would talk aloud to myself, when no one was around. Now, I know that this is useless, being someone like me, a parasite, it's just easier keeping things on the inside, because, who knows who could be listening.

I need another soul, soon. My host absolutely can't have that kind of power over me, I won't let it happen again. I'll make sure of it.

Little note, thanks to Freshtacular_sk8tin and their story "Outlook" for inspiring this chapter!