It bothers me. Like really it does. And you'll never understand why. It's gotten so hard, because I don't know. I'm jealous in a way? That's what they say at least. It hurts. But you don't know why. You don't understand why. And I won't ever tell you why. Hell, I won't tell you why it really bothers me, or why I find an excuse to leave when we talk about it. I've talked to them, they understand why. They pity me cuz I feel that way. They shouldn't. It's my own damn fault it turned out this way. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm becoming distant at times. But I'm hurting so much. So much, but I'm not going to tell you. Because I don't think you'll understand. And your hurting too much right now. I'm just being stupid about it. I feel at peace sitting here in the dark. But yet, I'm at war with my inner thoughts because it's driving me insane. But I let it so I can't complain. I'm sorry for it. I shouldn't feel this way. I can't help it, but I love you.
