the assistant | damon ✓

14. Goodbye, I guess?

Cowell

"Simon, what's wrong?" he asked, his voice shaking. He never called me Simon.

"Oh my god, I don't know how to say this..." I whispered, sitting on the barstool.

"Si, you're scaring me. Just tell me." he replied, his voice wavering even further.

"I'm-"

"Simon, stop it, you're frightening me. What is wrong?" David demanded, shaking. Everyone close to him knew about his problem with panic attacks.
"I have to leave." I whispered.

The news had shaken my world. It was exactly what I didn't want to happen, things were finally sorting themselves out with me and David - we were settling down, and I loved him more than anything. But America's Got Talent was making me stay for six months, and said that I had to stay there in America the whole time, instead of constantly flying to and from England.

The colour drained from his face. I watched as he gripped the side of the table and I watched his hand shake, quivering.

"No. No, Simon, you- you can't leave..." he said quietly.

"I have to go to America for a six month placement." I told him.

"No..." David cried, burying his face in his hands. The last thing I wanted was a panic attack to form, so I engulfed him in a hug. He rested his head in the crook of my neck, and went silent. He was clearly processing the fact that we would be apart for so long.

"Babe?" I whispered, prompting him.

"No, no, no, no, no..." He murmured repetitively, tears falling down his face.

"Come with me?" I begged. We'd been through moving to America before, but David said he was attached to this place. I understood, kind of. I'd never stayed in one place for too long, I suppose.

"I can't, you know I can't. I have Bert, I have my friends, I have my mother... my whole life is here, Simon." He sobbed.

"Darling..."

"I'm sorry. I love you. But- But I can't." He choked out, pulling away from the hug and going to the fridge. He grabbed a bottle of water, clearly trying to distract himself. The door shut. He stared at the closed fridge for a few minutes, not saying anything. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his stomach, resting my head between his shoulders.

We laid in bed that night, not saying anything. No sex, no flirting, no joking around. Just silence, letting reality settle in. He turned on his side, facing me, our faces millimetres apart.

"Just because I'm not going to America, doesn't mean I don't want to kiss you anymore, or that I don't love you anymore." He whispered, giving a weak smile.

"I love you, okay? A lot. And no distance is ever going to change that."

"When do you leave, Simon?" He asked, and sighed.

"Friday."

<friday>

Walliams