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chapter 9 *ೃ

Kiara

"I am not the only one, I see" I said and sit next to him

"he changed a lot" Joshua response

"no. I did" I response

"everything is my fault" I added

"no" he simply says looking at the lake

"If only they listen" I said tearing up

"tell me everything and I will listen" he wipe my tears

"I pushed my brother away from me because I'm scared to lose him. I got jealous cause I feel that Jacob is taking him and cess away from me, but i never kept a secret I swear" I explain

"the truth is I'm not mad when I pushed my brother away, I am hurt. Jacob underestimate me and everything I love. he will take everything away from me, he got don, cess, the tree and who's next?" I said bursting out all my tears

"Joshua, I'm lonely. my brother chose Jacob over me, he wanted Jacob to be his twin instead of me. he didn't listen to me when I need to let out everything inside of my chest because it's too heavy, but all he did is to tell me how great Jacob is while making me feel that I'm the total opposite. I am not stupid and i have feelings too" I said sobbing and crying my eyes out

"I tried to talk to Princess because she's my bestfriend, but she judged me instead of listening and understanding me. I'm too broken, I waited for Caroline to go since she wanted to see my books but she didn't come, I waited long enough. I'm so tired Josh" I added trying to calm myself

"go on, let it out. tell me everything, I'm listening" Josh replied

"I'm losing my mind, it's all my fault. if I talked to Landon and told him everything, this won't happen but he looks so happy with Jacob and I can't just break their friendship" I replied

"I deserve to be alone, I messed up everything" I added

"you still have me, I just really wish you can see me the way you can see Jacob" Josh said

I don't understand

"you know what, take some rest" he added

"Josh, I'm tired and there's no nap or sleep will make me feel better" I replied

"did you tell your parents about it? your grandparents?" he asks

"no, they don't even notice that me and don don't talk anymore, maybe because don is always leaving early and will go home late" I replied looking at the sky

"can I be your bf?" he asks

"what?" I ask trying to make him more specific

"bf as in best friend, your guy best friend" he says with hope

"you're gonna leave me soon like they did, my brother and bestfriend that I live all my life with, left me. I don't think you can stay" I replied and get a rock then throw it on the lake

"give me a change to" he says

"okay" I smiled

"I'll walk you home" he says

"okay, and hey. How's jake? your brother. and how's joey? and is he giving all of his the love to my auntie Diana?" I asks Joshua

by the way, Diana is my auntie, she's my fathers sister, she's 27 and she's a nurse

Joey is her boyfriend, they are dating for 5 years

Jake is Joshua's brother and a friend of Joey. He's dating Camilla

Camilla is my auntie Diana's bestfriend. they once told me they have weird and crazy story when they visited here. that was 2 years ago and I miss them. I'm not sure what's her job

"yeah, they are all doing good" Joshua says

I walk to our door and look at Joshua

"Josh, thanks for walking me home" I said and hugged him

"thanks for listening, see you tomorrow" I wave at him

"see you, don't be sad. I'm here" he said and quickly hugged me

"same to you, stay safe" I replied

he wave and walk away, 

watching his body slowly fading and disappear

Josh and I will make it through, I'll be her girl bestfriend knowing that I can't replace my brother, and he will be my guy bestfriend, and princess will always be my bestfriend to the moon and back

but they don't feel the same

Joshua felt lonely, and all I can say is I feel like I'm an empty cup. who's going to fill me? who's going to complete me?

everything is my fault, can't blame them for leaving me

people think I'm over reacting, but i am hurt. theres a difference.

what should I do?

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chapter 9! yesss

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