Underneath My Skin

Ch. 13

I hand my employee i.d to the bouncer and make my way inside Sapphire. Its Friday night so it's going to be busy, and I dread having to go home with a man. This week has been terrible.

After my fight with Harry, i've shut down. His words hurt me so much, and I don't even know why. His words shouldn't have hit me so hard. But they did. I honestly think if Jackson said the things to me that Harry said, I wouldn't be as hurt. But, something about Harry just disarms me.

All week I've been short with Zayn because I know that he cares about me. I just can not wrap my head around why he cares so much. Why does Zayn care and Harry doesn't? Something deep inside of me wants Harry to care about me so much.

Harry compels me to want him, sexually and emotionally. He was so different when we had sex. He almost seemed like he cared about me. I shake Harry from my mind and walk into the dressing room, only to be greeted by Jaylee. She hugs me and hands me the white powder in a bag. I thank her and walk over to the clothes rack.

I decide to stay simple by picking out a black lingerie corset, black lace thong, and black pumps. Once i'm dressed I put my robe on and sit in front of my mirror and do my makeup.

Tony busts in the room as soon as I finish my makeup. I roll my eyes at him.

"You have a client. He's married so your just dancing for him here." Tony barks.

"Whatever," I snap and stand from my seat.

I walk towards the door only to he snatched by the wrist, that's almost healed. I turn to face Tony and a devilish grin is spread across his lips.

"Don't speak to me that way sweet heart. Or you'll regret it."

I snatch my wrist from his grip and hurry out of the dressing room. I walk over to my section and Louis is sitting on the leather couch. I furrow a brow at him.

"What are you doing here?" I ask taken aback.

He smiles and pulls a couple of hundred dollar bills from his back pocket. I grab the cash and stuff it in my bra.

"What do you want?" I ask.

"You to dance on the pole. Then give me a lap dance." He smirks.

Men are strange. He just got married and he's already at a strip club. His wife must be a bitch. I take my robe off and walk over to the pole slowly, switching my hips extra hard. I dance to the music playing loudly in the club, swinging around the pole, and doing a few splits. When the next song comes on, I walk over to Louis and turn my back to him, putting my ass in his face.

I look up and Jackson is standing next to the pole with wide eyes. I swallow the bile rising in my throat. He's never watched me do this and it makes me sick knowing that he's watching. I finish dancing and hurry back to the dressing room.

I sit in front of my mirror and take a good hard look at myself. Who the hell am I? If Harry was here, he could answer that question for me. He would say, a nasty, trashy, stripper/prostitute, with emotional, and trust issues. I grab my hair brush and throw it at the mirror. Luckily it doesn't break, otherwise i'd probably have glass all over me.

I pull my hair into a pony tale and put my regular clothes back on, which are jeans and a t shirt. I hurry out of the dressing room, I know I can't leave this early but I dont give a fuck. I need to leave this place right now. I'm almost to the door when I hear Tony yell.

"Where the fuck are you going?!"

I take a deep breath and turn around. Tony walks towards me fast and looks at me in disgust.