Underneath My Skin

Ch. 27

I get lost in a sea of green. Drawing me in and drowning me. Big, heavy waves keep me trapped under, but I dont want to break free. I want to get lost in his sea. I want him to consume me.

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I type in Harry's pin number and the doors go up. My heart hammers inside my chest. If we get into a bad fight, Niall is waiting at my apartment for me. He begged me to take a damn taxi here, so I did and the man drove like a grandma. I could've walked here faster.

The doors open and I hurry down the hall. I freeze in front of his door. My breathing becomes irregular. I bang hard on his door. After a few minutes I bang again and the door swings open. Harry's face turns pale and he pulls me inside.

"Are you alright? What happened?" he asks.

I push him away from me.

"Did you fuck her?" I snap.

His head cock's to the side. "What? Who?"

Is he stupid?

"Bianca!" I yell.

His eyes soften and he shakes his head.

"Of course not," he says softly.

I relax a little bit but I'm still furious with him. He thinks I'm crazy. He reaches out and grabs my hand, I snatch it away from him.

"It was a mistake coming here. I'll leave," I snap.

Before I turn around he grabs my hand again.

"Don't fucking touch me. I'm crazy remember?"

He frowns deeply.

"Stop doing this to your self Bri."

I poke his chest with my index finger hard.

"You're doing this  to me. I never gave a fuck what people thought about me. But then you come around and look at me all funny, making me feel worthless and insecure," tears start falling, "You and your stupid green eyes, and your stupid curly hair, and your stupid body, and your stupid tan skin, and your stupid tattoos."

He looks into my eyes confused. I'm just rambling. I don't know why I'm even here talking to him right now. I'm addicted, consumed, drawn.

"I hate you so much," I whisper.

I pull my finger away from him. He grabs my wrists and pulls me to his chest. We are forehead to forehead, nose to nose, chest to chest, toe to toe. Being this close to him makes my knees weak.

"If you hate me so much, then why are you here?" he says lowly.

"Let me go and I'll leave," I snap.

"Admit it Bri," he whispers.

My chest rises and falls quickly. Him touching makes my insides ignite. The effect he has on my makes me furious.

"Admit what?"

"That you need me," he whispers.

My mouth falls open. I do not need him and I do not need to keep doing this to myself.

"I don't need you," I say harshly.

He grips my wrists tighter.

"Harry, just let me go."

His eyes darken. "Stay with me," he whispers.

His words puncture my heart. The sad gullible part of my heart thinks he wants me to stay because he needs me just as much as I need him. But the strong bitter part of my heart tells me that he just needs me here as an experiment for his schizophrenia analysis. My head throbs. I'm at war with myself.