Underneath My Skin

Ch. 32

Nothing hurts more than being disappointed by the single person you thought would never hurt you.

_________________________

Its really dark in here and its extremely cold. I feel around the wall until I feel the light switch. I cut the light on and a gasp escapes my mouth. The walls are painted black, and there's a huge five point star with a circle around it drawn on the floor. There are candles everywhere, the only piece of furniture in this room is a large wooden desk.

I walk around the star, carefully not stepping on it, and I make my way over to the desk. Its extremely clean, like its just been polished. Its also very empty, there's nothing on the desk. My eyes skim down to the three drawers. I shakily reach for the first drawer handle.

Do I even want to know what's in here?

Curiosity gets the best of me and I open the top drawer. There is a Wiji board. I scream and slam the drawer shut. What in the hell? I don't fuck with that shit right there! I reach for the second drawer handle and pull it open. I gasp. Its a journal and some other book with the same star symbol that's on the floor. I reach for the journal because I definitely don't want to see what's inside the other book.

I look at the first page. Should I read it? Yeah I should. I gasp when I see that its written to Abigail.

*

Abigail,

I'm dying inside. Slowly withering away with guilt. Seeing Harry everyday and keeping this from him is simply excruciating. If I was in his position, I would want to know. But I guess that doesn't matter. I know you're going through a lot and I am terribly sorry for all the awful things he's done to you, but seeking revenge is truly immature. You can tell me one million times that you don't love him, but that is far from the truth. Every time we are together, I see him in your eyes. You love him but you're too stubborn to admit it Abbie. Just admit it.

-Zayn

*

My mouth hangs open.

What awful things did Harry do to her?

Does this mean that she was cheating on Harry with Zayn?

What the fuck? My blood boils. I have to find out more before I go to extreme measures and rip his throat out as soon as he gets home. I flip the page, and it to is written to Abigail.

*

Abigail,

You just left my flat and I must admit that every time you come over, you make me feel less and less like a man. You tear me apart inside with all the things you're struggling with.

I just want to pack up all of our things and run away from everyone and everything. But, that won't solve any of our problems. Harry wouldn't until he found you.

If you claim that you've fallen out of love with him, then why not leave? Why not walk out of the door with your dignity and make it easier on the both of you? I just don't understand.

It's unfair Abbie. It's unfair to Harry, You, Me, everyone.... I know I've said this a million times, but if you tell him the truth, he'll feel a million times better. If you tell him the truth, you will leave and we can all be happy. Isn't that what you want?

-Zayn

*

My stomach turns. This has to mean Abigail cheated on Harry with Zayn. My stomach turns.

I flip through the pages and everything is written to Abigail. I stop on the last page and decide to read it, it's not written to anyone. It's simply an entry in his journal.