Underneath My Skin

Ch. 30

Ripped apart limb by limb.

Shattering bones, heart caving in.

Self mutilation, scar after scar.

Empty and hollow, worn like tar.

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To be completely honest, I have thought about suicide so many times. After Jackson's death, all I wanted to do was die. But, isn't that normal?

When you lose someone you love, it's like a part of you has died as well. A part of you that you think you'll never be able to get back. But that's far from the truth.

Eventually, you will meet someone else that revives the death inside of you. Someone who makes you believe in happiness and romance.

Then there's me. I've found that person that has revived the dark death within me. But I'm afraid I haven't had that effect on him.

So I stand here, looking straight at the darkness that's trapping him and my heart breaks for him. I want to save him but I feel like he's already gone.

Abigail is not some guardian angle. No not at all. She's a dark force seeking revenge on her past lover. She wants him to die, like she did, and she wants the be the cause of his death, because he was the cause of hers. Love is messed up. But love is suicide in a crazy way.

"Bianca, go inside," I demand.

She looks at me horrified. "No, I'm not leaving him!" she sobs.

Rage takes over. I am not the one. I step towards her and grip her arm firmly. I sling her in the direction of the door and she yelps.

"Get your ass inside now!" I yell. She hurries inside.

I look over at Harry. He's still looking down at the street and Abigail is still yelling at him telling him to jump.

"Abigail, get away from him," I demand firmly.

Her head snaps up and she looks at me. She looks devious. Fear consumes me but I try my best to hide it.

"You want to know why he won't jump?" she asks.

"No, I want you to leave."

"Because he's thinking about Bianca."

Right of course he is. My heart sinks.

"So maybe you should leave Briella," she snaps.

"Why are you doing this to him?" I ask, my voice cracking.

She scoffs. "He was about to fuck that whore."

I'm taken back by her words. So she still loves Harry? Then why did she want to leave him? My head throbs.

"Aw, what's the matter? Does that hurt you?" she asks sarcastically.

"I don't understand. You were going to leave him. Why do you care if he fucks someone else?"

Her face hardens. "I couldn't be happy so neither can he!"

I don't blame her really. I want him to move on, but not with a hoe.

My blood boils. "You shouldn't have followed him here Abigail," I say harshly.

She laughs, and her laugh is icy sending chills down my spine.

"No, I'm glad I did. Now I know that he's miserable without me."

Harry is still starring down at the busy night street. It's like he's in some sort of  trance.  I walk over to the railing and my heart feels like it's about to beat out of my chest. I am deathly afraid of heights.