The Wattys 20-Never

Chapter 9

1.) Yooooo so let me tell you about the first time I ever got on a roller coaster with a white family and you know white people are crazy man, they do not fear roller coasters or death in general.

2.) After about 20 minutes (of hardcore convincing) Me telling them that I didn't want to get on I finally said yes, cause I wasn't no b*tch and I didn't plan on starting the day one. 

3.) When the engineer said, "please lean back and keep the back of your head pressed against your seat." And I saw everybody stick their heads to the back of their chair . . . I knew I had f*cked up completely.

4.) I even saw some black folks listen and you know d*mn well that well black people listen to a white ladies advice, It's The Real Deal!

5.) So my first mistake was refusing to press my head against the seat. . . The ride takes off and my dome SLAMS against my seat and my neck SNAPPED. 

6.) I was out B. When I awoke from my 5seconds of slumber, we had reached the very top of the ride where the ride makes a quick stop. I thought the ride was over and we all made it safely. . . Boyyy was I wrong! Ohh Lordd I said my prayer.

7.) I opened my eyes and all I saw was a 300foot drop straight to the ground so I said, "God, You can't let me die like this." I think I suffered a heart contusion, because my heart completely stopped beating. And then the ride takes off again!

8.) And I scream my lungs out as I'm scared to death because the only time a human should be that up in the air is when their spirit is being sucked up by the grace of god!

9.) So we make it to the end of the ride and when I get off I stumble my legs were numb and all the air was sucked out of my body so I couldn't talk either!

10.) The first thing these Crazy MotherF*ckers tell me is, "Hey man lets do that again, that was wicked." I looked at them and realized that these white kids I befriended where actually Satan. . . i no longer have white friends.

11.) Moral Of The Story: Leave Barbra and Bradly at the gate.