Love on Chesapeake Bay (BWWM)

5. It's Complicated

"So how's um, whats her name, the girl you were so head over heels for last time we talked?" Leah said through the phone. Jack was sitting at his desk in his apartment, filling out paperwork with the phone beside him on speaker.

Leah was his older sister; she was married with two kids. She and Jack talked on the phone every Sunday. Usually Leah did most of the talking but after his date with Kayla two weeks ago, Jack had told Leah all about it. She had been overjoyed - Jack hadn't been on a date in more than 5 years and she was beyond excited. She was not a fan of the bachelor lifestyle he'd adopted over the past few years.

"I, uh, well I actually haven't spoken to Kayla since that night," Jack confessed, running his hand over the facial hair on his chin.

The morning after their date, Jack had desperately wanted to call Kayla and tell her... well he didn't know what he wanted to tell her, or what the right thing was to say at the time. And the more and more time that passed without him reaching out, the less he felt like he could say anything at all. She'd be in New York for the remainder of the semester and then she would be in Peru for the summer. Even if they kept in touch now they wouldn't be able to see each other again until her fall semester started in September, which was beginning to feel farther and farther away. And he couldn't exactly expect her to want to be with him after just one date.

As the days went by he kept making up excuses; the timing isn't right, she's out of your league, she's too young for you, amongst a thousand others with you're not ready to date again at the top of the list.

"What? Jack... why?" Leah chided, "Don't be an idiot."

He stayed quiet, fiddling with his pen.

"I've never heard you so excited about a girl and now you're going to what? Just let her go? For what? I'm not understanding..." Leah sighed.

"I don't know Leah," Jack said, "it's too much. I'm not ready."

"Well fuck, no ones telling you to marry the girl... just call her!" Leah said. He knew she was at her wits end with him.

But he knew Leah was right. I am being an idiot, he thought. His mind drifted to that night on the harbor - how beautiful her mocha-colored skin looked under the moonlight, how perfect and full her rosebud lips looked when they had been so close to his, and how stupid he'd been not to kiss her. And not only was she beautiful -  she was also intelligent, passionate, and caring. The day after their date he canceled Sam's lung needle biopsy, diagnosed him with SJIA, put in an order for the appropriate anti-inflammatory arthritis medications, and the boy had recovered in days.

The way he had felt with her in just the few hours they'd shared together was something he'd never felt in his 36, nearly 37 years of life. He hadn't thought women like her existed until he met her. But he couldn't bring himself to call her. She deserves to be with a better man than me, someone her own age. Not a recovering alcoholic with baggage and a perpetual distrust of women, he thought.

"Leah, just drop it okay," Jack sighed.

"You kill me Jack, you really do," she said. He could tell through the phone that she was rolling her eyes.

"How are the kids?" he asked, changing the subject.

"They're good. Mom came to babysit last week when Wes and I went to the Blake Shelton concert."

Leah and Jack were both born and raised in Manhattan. When it came time for Leah to go to college she jetted off across the country to Alabama because she wanted a change of scenery, against their parents wishes. She came back a brand new woman with a newfound love of country music, line-dancing and okra. She married her college boyfriend, Wes, who was as country as they come. They wanted to stay in the south and start their family but Wes got a job opportunity in New York so they ended up moving up north. Their mom of course was happy about the move. She thought, and hoped, that the whole southern thing and everything to do with it, including Wes, was part of a phase Leah was going through - but 20 years later the two were still happily married with five, soon to be six, year-old twin boys, Gunnar and Beau.

"How's Mom?" Jack asked. It had been awhile since he'd seen his parents. They lived in upstate New York, about 2 hours from the city, where they'd retired to when Leah and Jack had left the nest.

"Neurotic as usual. She misses you though," Leah said, pausing. "I told her you're dating again."

"Really Leah?" 

"I'm sorry! It's just you were so happy, and mom worries about you. She doesn't want you to end up alone," Leah said.

Jack let out a long sigh.

"Annnnnd she wants to meet her..." Leah added quickly.

"Goddamnit Leah, why do you do this to me," Jack groaned.

"I had to! She was on my case about finding you a girlfriend."

"Yeah well tell her it's not happening."

"You gotta come back to New York," Leah said, "without you here Mom has no one else to bother."

"Oh poor you," Jack said. "Look Leah, I gotta get back to this paperwork."

"Alright I'll let you go. Promise you'll call Kayla?"

"I can't promise that."

"Good God, my brother is an idiot," she said. "Fine then. Be unhappy and alone since that's clearly what you want."

"Bye Leah," Jack said.

"Love you Jack-Jack," she said. He rolled his eyes at the nickname.

He dialed Kayla's number and hesitated with his finger over the call button. He wanted to hear her voice, to tell her he hadn't stopped thinking about her - but he stopped himself. He put the phone down with a sigh and picked up his pen to resume his paperwork.