I'm Just The Nanny (Harry Styles)

Getting better

I was beginning to get better. I could stand now. He still came everyday, and everyday I sent him away. It had been two weeks since the surgery. My family came everyday at the beginning, but slowly went back to their lives, I told them too.  So it was me and Dylan. I spent most of my time laying next to him in his hospital bed. We looked like the weirdest sibling pair you've ever seen. I spoke to him about Harry, and I spoke to him about life. I told him he needed to wake up. When I returned to my room after speaking to Dylan today, there was an envelope on my bed. "Samantha" had been written in pen and then scratched out. Next to it was written "sam". Although I knew what piece of trash had left the note, I smiled to myself slightly, and opened the envelope.
Sam,
I am sorry. There's not much I can say besides that. I am sorry. You don't owe it to me to read this letter, but I'm going to explain what happened.

I paused. He was right. I didn't have to read this letter. It didn't change what he did. But I wanted do know.

Before I begin, I've attached the get well soon cards the kids made you. Jake made you something. Check your pillow. They can't bare it without you. They miss you. We miss you.
Anyway you slice it I'm a bad person. I've been thinking about this. I do good things. I try to be kind. I save people. But I'm a horrible person. First I cheated on my wife. I cheated on my wife with a young woman who had so much ahead of her. I took your life away from you. And that makes me a horrible person.

I'm going to try to explain my thought process. It's a fucked up one so bare with me. My mother called me that night, the night of my birthday party, she called to tell me why she couldn't come. She's been diagnosed with cancer. Stage 4. She's got 2 months left to live. She said to me, "Harry, I want you to know I'm so happy that you found someone you love. I'm so happy you found Melanie."  She said, "It makes me so proud that your marriage worked out, even when your father and I didn't." Ready for this? She said, "I can die happy knowing you have a beautiful family." And then we said goodbye. My mother was ok with dying because she thought my family was perfect, and in reality I'm fucking in love with my nanny. So, I went home and I fucked my wife. The mother of my kids. I tried to feel something for her again. Just to make my mum proud. But I couldn't. I couldn't feel anything. And I know this doesn't justify anything, but I'm loosing my mum, and then the girl that I love gets wheeled into the hospital, and I almost lost her too. I can't lose you too, sam. You don't have to forgive me, but know that it wasn't you. It was me. And I will never stop loving you with all of my heart. My sam.
With all my apologies and with all my love,
Harry

When I had finished, I was crying that same cry. That sputtering cry. I fished the cards out of the envelope and let out a loud sob. I then turned to check my pillow. Laying perfectly on it was a cape with a shakey "S" painted on it. I clutched it close to my heart, and fell asleep.