heaven's child » j.o

prologue

I sat in one of the booths in some random bar the girls took me to, bored, while Kyah and Charli were ordering shots. I wondered why I was here; a large majority of the people here must've thought I was either one, stupid, or two, really stupid. I was already seven months into my pregnancy and my baby bump nearly conflicted me from fitting into the booth.

"Don't you want a drink or something? You look a little," Charli paused, "bored."

The waiter furrowed her eyebrows at me, and while the girls realised how wrong that sounded for an incredibly fat, pregnant woman, they stuttered on words to say while I simply smiled at the young girl and said, "a sprite would be great. Alcohol was never my thing anyway," and left her with a wink before she sighed of relief and walked off. Kyah sighed of relief and cheekily smiled.

"Oh, thank God! You're a life saver, and I have no idea what I'd do wi-"

"All she did was order for herself, why are you praising her for being a grown woman?"

Kyah rolled her eyes. "No, stupid, she didn't just order-"

"Did you just call me stupid?"

"I'm sorry," Kyah said. "I meant to say 'stupid,'" she winked.

I sighed and watched the two buzzed girls bicker. They did this at every get-together, sober, buzzed or drunk. I knew better than to get in their way though. Last time we had a sleepover at my place, they began throwing popcorn at my newly showered body when I got out of the shower and attempted to stop them from fighting over a movie.

So I sat there, in one place, sipping my Sprite to the last drop—which is when they finally noticed that I was done. They both looked at each other with a worried look on their faces before forcing my hand off the glass and into their sweaty palms.

"We know you're not okay, Carmen," Kyah spoke up.

It was true. I was not at all okay. Of course I tried to stress as least as I possibly could for the baby's health's sake, but it was hard doing it all on my own. This process could've been so much easier if Jahseh wouldn't have left. If I actually had him to hold my hair during morning sickness—which has become a part of my daily schedule now—or, if he was here to take me out for food whenever I had a craving, or pay the monthly bills so I won't have to stress about them while thinking about all the Pampers expenses that are three months away.

But where was Jahseh? Up in the clouds—or I should say crowds. He was living his dream. If I knew one successful SoundCloud track would somehow convince him to leave me, I wouldn't have let him post it. His dream didn't just contain his concerts though. Absolutely not! It contained a bunch of whores laying in his bed after every show he had. It's always on his Snapchat story, and it's kind of annoying.

So when he's lied about loving me and then leaves me once he becomes famous without giving me the chance to tell him about my positive pregnancy test, of course I'm going to be down. I'm in hell, and I'm sitting in my sadness. Drowning in it. It's not a surprise. Six months doesn't cut it.

"Hello?" Charli waved her hand in front of me. "Maybe she's having a seizure-"

"Jesus, Charli, no, she's not, she's just zoned-"

"Hold on, I'm searching pregnancy symptoms on Bing-"

"Oh my God."

I gave them a small giggle after zoning back in and took out my phone.

"Don't look at his Twitter again, please?" Kyah begged. "It's been the fifth time today. You don't need to continuously view his tweets."

"It's true, Carmen," Charli put her phone away. "Whatever that idiot xxxtesticles has to say isn't important. Frankly, I beg he doesn't have any-"

"Please, don't say anything else. Just- don't."

I ignored them while they began to bicker again. I clicked his icon and realized I was still up to date with his tweets. And then my fingers began to shake and I bit my lip, pressing the writing icon in the top left corner. I was done.

"love it when your baby daddy is f*cking whores while he's got a baby on the way from the dropped 'hoe' he played....."

Tweet.

In a matter of two seconds, Charli and Kyah's phone went off and in a matter of another two seconds, they were going off at me for tweeting something so obvious.

"Guys, it's fine. He called me a hoe before he walked out the door anyway, so it's fine," I rolled my eyes, trying to reason. "He'll probably think I was knocked up by some other guy and dropped by him too. I don't even get why he's still following me..."

And then my phone went off.

@xxxtentacion retweeted: "love it when your baby daddy is f*cking whores while he's got a baby on the way from the dropped 'hoe' he played....."