heaven's child » j.o

0.2

Never have I ever felt so nervous in my life. Here I was, sitting in a small coffee shop wearing Charli's size negative dress that I swear I had already managed to rip at a seam. Cons of being what everybody called thick.

My baby pink stiletto nails clicked in an orderly pattern against the table as I was beginning to be impatient. Was this Isaiah guy even gonna show up? I was beginning to highly doubt it. Another con of being myself: I'm nervously impatient from the stupidest situations.

I sighed as the waiter approached my table for the fifth time. "You sure you wouldn't like a menu, ma'am?"

I sighed and smiled at the young woman taking the menu out of her hand gently. "Thank you," I opened the friendly menu and instantly brought my attention to the beverages.

"It is hot, isn't it? Why don't I start you off with a drink." I nodded.

"I'll have a glass of iced chocolate, please," I smiled, handing her the menu back. "And I think that'll be all I'm having today."

She gave me a bubbly look before immediately getting to work on my icy drink. Now that I had all this free time, it was almost as if I was pointing a mirror at myself, ironically from a third perspective. Why was I sitting in this casual coffee shop, wearing a sundress that restricts 85% of my breathing with full makeup that'll cause me an expensive acne cleaning at my beautician?

I sighed and grabbed my wallet, unzipping it and taking a $20 out of the main pocket before I looked up at the doorbell.

"No grandma, it's the cat liter," a groan followed as a muscular chocolate man entered, stepping aside from the doorway, allowing a couple of girls in. "Grandma! I know damn well you aren't asking me to drive back home—no grandma, I'm already half an hour late to my date!"

"Make that 45 minutes," I chuckled under my breath as my iced chocolate drink arrived.

"Bye, grandma—grandma—" he reached his free hand behind and tugged frustratingly at his dreads. "Call mom, I'm out," and with that, he instantly hung up.

I looked up at him with heated cheeks and smiled into his eyes, getting up. "I'm so sorry I'm late, I didn't mean—"

"Grandmas," I winked at him, reaching my hand out for him to shake. "I get it. I'm Carmen."

"Isaiah," he took a moment to look at me before shaking my hand.

We took our seats and ordered him a drink while I placed the $20 bill back in my wallet, zipping it up. He wasn't that bad, after all. I went through a mental checklist in my head.

☒ hot chocolate dreadhead
☒ aligned smile with snow white teeth
☒ seemingly close with his family?

That one was still a question mark; his grandma did seem to be pretty dependant on him though, whatever that cat liter incident was just then.

"So," he smiled at me, licking his bottom lip. "How are you?"

I nodded, playing with my acrylics. "I'm fine, and yourself?"

I looked up at him and his smile seemed to grow significantly bigger than before my response. My panic set in immediately. Was there something on my face? Oh God, is my lipstick smeared? I knew I should've gone with matte!

"I'm fine as well, and actually, I was just about to tell you how wonderful your accent was, are you B—are you okay?"

I mentally facepalmed, knowing that my face was already painted crimson and coated with an extra layer of panic. Why now?

I nervously chuckled and looked up at him, my heart instantly speeding up. "I'm fine, just really not used to dates lately." I took a sip of my drink, letting it smoothly flow down my throat. I'm okay.

He nodded in sympathy. "Breakups are tough, I can understand that, but it's okay, right? This is all friendly and I swear to you I'm not a psycho rapper who released a song about sipping tea in their hood," he winked. "I mean, I only sip a protein drink in my hood," he lightly began to chuckle at his comment, which he seemed to find comical. I wasn't laughing.

I took a small sip again, before the blood in me rushing to my head, my tongue instantly rolling out of my mouth while a mixture of drool and cocoa were choked—nearly vomited—out. The one time you have a date, you choke on your beverage?

My face heated red as everything he was saying was a blur to me. My lips began to tremble and my vision became warm and blurry as I quickly grabbed my wallet and phone.

"I—" I stared at his blurry image, distraught by my ridiculous behavior before I ran out, allowing warm tears to flow by then.

««·»»

"1:30 PM

Dear diary,

HOW CAN I BE SUCH AN IDIOT??? HOW CAN SOMEONE MAKE ME SO EMOTIONAL THAT EVERY NEW GUY MAKES ME NERVOUS??

HOW COULD I JUST BE SO NERVOUS IN FRONT OF HIM AND GET SUCH A BAD PANIC ATTACK THAT I CHOKE AND LEAVE?????

Oh my g o d I'm an IDIOT.

I'm gonna go call Charli now brb"

I dialed Charli's number and placed the diary aside before loud, booming music began to blast in my left ear drum. "Jesus Christ," I shook my head, eating another spoonful of strawberry ice cream.

"Hey Kyah!" Charli yelled into the phone on the other end.

"Charli, it's me, Carmen," I facepalm, accidentally flinging a piece of strawberry onto my nose. I grumbled.

"Oh," she giggled. "Well, sorry! You should really come down the street to the new club that just opened? It's so lit dude!"

I smiled to myself and hung up the phone. I made a mental note to never party at a club with Charli again. I also made a note to never visit the new club down the street; if you're open at 1 PM, I am not your customer.

Guess it's just ice cream and Teen Wolf tonight.