Past, Present and the not-so-distant-Future

Missed Chances

-Flashback-

Natalia stuck her head into Crystal's office and held up a finger. "Call on line one, Ms. Lumia."

Crystal smiled at her secretary and gestured to the phone. "Who is it?"

Natalia shrugged, a weird look on her face. "Well, I believe the name she gave was uh, LZ."

Crystal squealed. "Thanks Natalia." She hurriedly picked up the phone as Natalia shut the door behind her.

"Lindsay?" she asked into the phone.

"Hey Crys, how'd you know it was me?"

Crystal rolled her eyes. "Oh I don't know LZ, lucky guess."

Lindsay laughed. "So, how are you?"

They talked for a little bit, catching up on stuff that e-mails didn't do justice for, then Crystal cleared her throat, her heart thumping madly. Now was the perfect time to tell Lindsay how she felt.

"So Lin, what made you call? Were you just saying hi, or is there something on your mind?"

"Well, a little of both, I guess. I haven't talked to you in a while, so I wanted to check in with you, and... I have something to tell you."

Crystal's heart skipped a beat. What were the odds that Lindsay would say the same thing that she was? "What's up?"

"Well, Crys...I just wanted to tell you that I uh, started seeing someone."

Crystal felt her heart sink. Well, slim to none was the answer to that. But why did Lindsay sound so nervous? "Oh, well, that's nice Lin. Who is he?"

"Well...actually...it's a she."

Crystal's mouth dropped open and she looked at the phone in shock. "What?" she asked, not sure if she heard that right.

"Um, her name is Lysandra, we met a couple of months ago when we were working on that case I was telling you about. Remember? We found that new plant species and the site was about to become a parking lot for a new mall they were building, so..."

Crystal stopped listening, her mind was in overload. Lindsay was dating a girl named Lysandra? What? It was suddenly a little difficult to breathe. She couldn't believe this was actually happening.

'I missed my chance,' she thought numbly. That should've been me.' She felt a little sick at the revelation.

"Um, Crys? You still there?"

"Huh? Oh! Uh, yeah, yeah Lin, I'm still here."

"So... you're ok with it, right Crys? That I'm seeing a girl?"

Crystal swallowed. 'No I am definitely not ok with you seeing a girl that's not me,' she wanted to say, but obviously she couldn't.

"Of course I am, Lin. To be totally honest with you, I've uh, dated girls before too." Well, dated may not be the appropriate word, but whatever, no need to get into that.

"Really? You? Wow, I didn't know that. How come you never told me?" The surprise was evident in Lindsay's voice. And something else. It sounded a lot like disappointment.

Crystal sighed. She had been right, she didn't imagine that there was something between her and Lindsay. There was. And now it was too late. The tears started to build up as the full magnitude of that missed opportunity hit her.

"I don't know, Lin. It just never came up, I guess. Well, uh, listen I gotta get going...meetings, you know how it is. So, uh, well, I'm glad to hear that everything's good with you. I'll talk to you soon, ok?"

"Oh. Uh, yeah sure Crys. Talk to you soon," Lindsay replied, sounding a little surprised at the abrupt end to the conversation. "Um, well, I guess I'll give a call sometime next week."

"Sounds good."

"Ok, love you Crys."

Crystal's throat constricted at the simple words. She closed her eyes. "Love you too, Lin."

She'd left work immediately, mumbling something about an emergency meeting to Natalia, and went for a long drive to think about everything. She drove around aimlessly, wishing that she had someone to talk to. She never told anyone about her feelings for Lindsay, and not since the day she arrived in Paris did she feel more alone.

She pulled into a parking lot and grabbed her phone, dialing a familiar number.

"Hey Crys!"

She grinned at the enthusiastic greeting on the other end. "Hi Raymond."

"What's wrong?" he asked, his enthusiasm turning to concern.

"What makes you think something's wrong?"

"Crystal Lumia. Don't even try. I've known you way too long. Now, what's wrong?"

That did it. Her armor cracked and the tears started flowing as she told him everything. She told him about Lindsay, about her feelings, about the kisses, about the various people in her life that never compared to her. Years of frustration, hurt and longing pouring out until there was nothing left.

Raymond just listened, asking questions here and there, letting her vent. He shocked her at one point, admitting that he knew something was there between her and Lindsay. He thought she should just tell Lindsay, he was certain she felt the same way, but Crystal knew she couldn't. She would never come between Lindsay and someone that obviously made her happy. Her chance had passed and she needed to deal with it and move on.

Sniffling, she realized she'd been talking for well over an hour. "Hey, thanks for listening Raymond. I appreciate it, but I gotta get going, I have to meet this photographer in a little while and there's something I have to do first."

"What's that?"

"Well, uh, I still have all this pent up energy inside, I gotta get it out, if you know what I mean."

Raymond chuckled. "You seeing someone?"

"Nah, not really. I just..."

Just then, her business phone beeped. "Ms. Lumia, don't forget the meeting with Van in an hour."

Crystal flipped her business phone open and pressed the two way button. "I know Natalia, thanks. Oh, and can you get me Lee's work number, please?"

"Who's Lee?" Raymond asked.

"Um, my, uh, friend?" she answered hesitantly.

Raymond caught on immediately and sighed. "I dunno if that's such a good idea, Crys."

"Oh don't worry about it, I'll be fine. Thanks again, I'll talk to you soon."

"Call me anytime Crys, you ever need to talk, I'm here."

"I know, love you Ray. Bye."

She hung up and dialed the number that Natalia paged over.

"Yes, hello. Can I speak with Lee Barteau please?" She tapped the steering wheel impatiently as she waited. "Hey girl, it's me. Can you leave work for an hour? Great, meet me at Le Meurice in fifteen minutes. I'll text you the room number."

-End flasback-