Rachel's Point of View~
I've never understood the way boys work. claiming that they like you, but then they're still caught up with some stupid crush.
Luke kept telling me how much he wanted to make things right. it's funny how he was the one who was way more into me than i was into him, and it was obvious. i always dodged his kisses and never let him get close. it always made me wonder if he knew my secret. but it seems that he hasn't realized yet....
regardless, my secret doesn't matter. what matters is that he told me he cared about me but kissed Sophia right in front of me. why would he be so into a girl that lies straight to his face?
never mind, i can't even judge Sophia, i'm just as guilty as she is. maybe i should come clean?
no.. not yet. it would only make things worse. Luke will probably come to try to say sorry to me soon anyway. maybe i will tell him the truth? or should i tell someone else first?
fuck. hiding secrets for your whole life is hard. i haven't even told my family yet so why should i tell Luke? he wouldn't handle it well.
i found myself turning into some coffee shop on 21st street. oh well, luke won't find me here so i don't have to worry about feeling guilty again.
i hopped out of my car with my bag and headed into the coffee place. the whole place had some hipster vibe.. of course. i walked up to the counter and ordered the most sugary drink on the menu in the biggest size. i also got a huge cookie. i've never used food as a way to cope, but it feels right.
after i got my food i decided to go upstairs to the second floor, cause maybe there would be less people up there so i could be alone while i shamefully eat.
luckily, there wasn't anyone else up here. there were a few tables and some bean bags on the floor. i noticed a a huge window that showed the city rain and the almost no cars on the roads. i decided to just sit on the floor and watch the rain and maybe take some photos, cause i haven't in a while and it will hopefully help get my mind off of... everything.
i was enjoying my cookie when i heard someone behind me say, "oh," probably louder than they intended to. i turned around and saw Brooke, holding a coffee in her hand and she was soaking wet and looked just as sad as i did.
"you look like you wanna be alone..." she said, pointing to the stairs, implying that she will leave if i want.
"no, no, you can stay." i said, patting the ground next to me.
she looked hesitant and stiff at first but then she walked over to me and set her stuff by mine.
"are you okay?" she asked, facing me.
i almost laughed a little bit, "no. not really..."
she gave me a sympathetic smile and she put her hand on my back and it honestly felt so comforting. "you can tell me whatever you want to."
i hesitated. i've never told anyone how i was really feeling. but i think she would understand more than anyone, cause we're going through some of the same problems.
"when luke asked me out, i didn't want to say yes. i said yes because," i took a breath, and i felt myself choke up a little bit. "i said yes because i am a lesbian."
(part 2 coming soon!! stay tuned)
