Here i sit, up again another night. Thinking about the reason for my very existence. It is not the first, second or 5th night. This happens almost every night. Sometimes i get so scared of everything around me. How life is really not promised and how people die everyday. When i get really depressed, i ask for death. But when i get out of depression, i ask for life. I've been anxious for as long as i remember, i've spent many septembers thinking about my birthdays in october. One funny thing about me, is that it's only the 'childish' things one would have forgotten that i always remember. Well, at least then i feel clever. I know this is disorganised, but this is me just trying to piece together the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle. Who writes with no paragraphs, me, a person who is not inspired to continue his drawings with his new steadtler mars lumograph. I make a lot of excuses, so much that everyone around me has noticed it. I've never been good at making friends, and i guess the few that i have are looking for ways to our relationship's end. They tell me we'll walk this together but i hope at some point, they don't take a bend. Frederick! What have you really learned? You're not even ready to leave the house to go find a job. You hate the 9 to 5, but you wanna earn 95 thouand. What am i even saying? A hundred, a million, a trillion, a zillion. Nothing's gonna come to you if you don't chase it. I know that right now nobody understands your anxiety or depression or harm OCD, and you don't understand how is it that you're okay with self-diagnosis because after weighing all the options, you realise that you do have no option. Sometimes you put yourself up for auction. You play the nice guy and be useful to everyone, yet something tells you that you're not useful, anymore. So you become superman and try to save everybody, taking all the pain. Now you know you really shouldn't complain. You're an empath and empaths have no choice.
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High Off These Thoughts
PoesiaI overthink a lot. I think at some point in life, we all do. This work tells you about deep thoughts and happenings that continue to exist daily, all told in the first person narative. These poems are written in freeverse, and are designed to make t...
