Caskett: Never Ending Love

30: Endless Love (Part 2)

Previously on Endless Love...

She giggled. She then leaned forward and kissed him sweetly. He kissed her back and soon they both went back to bed, Kate curling up on Castle's chest, Castle wrapping his arms protectively around her. They fell asleep like that, and there were no more interruptions that night. And then when morning came they would deal with morning, but for now they were enjoying their time together.

•••

It had been about two months since they took in Benny while they worked on the case. Since both Castle and Beckett decided on trying to have kids one would think that it would come as no surprise to Kate when the stick read 'pregnant' but her hand was shaking, her free hand covering her mouth. She was scared shitless, but she couldn't stop the smile that appeared on her face through all of the fear. She was pregnant. She through the test away discreetly and then placed both of her hands over her still flat belly.

Her happiness was cut short when the fear creeped back in. So many thoughts were running through her head as she thought about all the things that could go wrong with the pregnancy, with Castle and his family's reactions, with Gate's and the team's reactions, with everything. Tears pricked in the corners of her eyes and she let them fall, no one was home. Castle was at a book meeting, Martha was at her acting studio, and Alexis was still at college. Alexis would be coming home next week for New Year's. She wished Castle was here, she wanted to curl up in his arms and have him tell her that everything was going to be ok. But she didn't want him to know. What if he regretted wanting to have children. What if he would say it's too soon for her to get pregnant. All of these what if's crossed her mind. She got lost in them.

When she heard Castle's voice she was still sitting on the bathroom floor with her head placed in her hands, her knees curled up against her chest. Her head popped up and she quickly glanced to the clock on their bathroom wall. Had it really been an hour and a half of her sitting here dwelling on her negative thoughts? She heard him call her name again and quickly stood, checking her face in the mirror only to she her eyes swollen from the tears. She splashed some water on her face and then hurried out of their bedroom, through Rick's office and into the living room. When he saw her she could see the immediate worry leave his face, but what flooded in was concern. He took hurried steps toward her.

"You okay?" He asked searching for her eyes. SHe refused to let him see them because she knew if he saw inside them he would know everything, "Kate. Kate look at me." He softly spoke. She still refused, "You can tell me anything you know that right?"

Kate nodded, feeling tears creep their way to her eyes. "Oh, sweetie, come here." He told her, pulling her in for a warm and comforting hug. Kate sighed against him closing her eyes and breathing in his calming scent. She stayed in his arms for a long time. Once she felt calm and ready she decided to say what was on her mind.

"I need to tell you something."

"Of course, Kate, anything." Castle reassured.

"I'm-" She stopped. The fear had found her, it paralyzed her. She froze, wanting to retreat while simultaneously wanting to just get it off of her chest. She didn't know what to do. She didn't realize she was crying yet again until she felt Rick's hand cup her cheek and sweep them away with the pad of his thumb. She could feel his eyes on her, waiting for her to look up and meet him, but still she denied him that.

"Why won't you look at me?" He asked softly. Kate could hear the hurt in his voice.

"Because then you'll know." She whined.

"Know what?"

"That I'm pregnant."

Rick's eyes grew big as Kate looked up to him, biting her lip in anticipation. "You-You're pregnant?"