Only one thing ever made me regret my choice of career. Only one thing made me want to have a simple nine to five job in an office. Only one thing made the overwhelming attention insignificant. Only one thing made me want to drop everything I worked so hard to achieve and throw it away. That one thing was you.
You may not believe me, but it's true.
I can already imagine you thinking to yourself that these are just words on a paper, spitting lies just to please you. Your reasoning? Because for some odd reason you see yourself as lesser than everyone else. You tell yourself you aren't as pretty, aren't as special, aren't cut out to date me. You tell yourself I'm out of your league, and that you are only charity work in my eyes. You place me so high on a pedistle, to the point where you can't reach me.
And that's anything but true.
Because the truth is that your so high om the peditsle that you can't see anyone else. So, in turn, you find yourself alone and look up at the sky in hopes that one day you'll reach everyone else. When in actuality, everyones already below you.
But of course you don't believe that either...
I know it's hard. I know it's demanding, difficult and draining to be with me. I've known it the whole ride. I hoped that we'd reach a point where I could fix that, but I seemed to have taken to long.
I once found you in our room, the blinds drawn, the door closed, and the blankets engulfing your body. You were crying, you were wimpering, you were breaking. I know it was because of me.
There was nothing I could do to fix it, and that's what hurt the most. That there was a driving force in my life pushing you away.
I want you to know that I am sorry.
Sorry for everything. Sorry that I am who I am. Sorry that when ever I leave the house cameras flash. Sorry that I have to leave the house for far to long just to do my job. Sorry that I work with girls that are paid to be pretty. Sorry that there are scandles and you have to question my faithfulness. Sorry that the world I live in is merciless and horrible. Sorry that I ruined your life.
It's true, I could have whoever I wanted. When I stepped into your school to graduate, everyone lined up. People wanted me for my looks, my success, my fame, my connections. You were the only one that was pure. And the only one I wanted was you.
And your beautiful, you out shine the others in a different way. Your smile was blinding, not because of how white your teeth were, but bcause of the genuininty. Your eyes were beautiful, not because they were blue or bright or fierce, but because they held emotion and reflected who you were. And when your smile reached your eyes and the two of them worked together, I swear I feel like I'm going to die, perish in your beauty.
But your also normal. Lived in the same town you were born in. Had loving parents and more than annoying siblings. You focused on your studies and went to the accasional party. You had a goal in life and worked towards it while spitting that you had no idea what you were doing. You had a part time job and a college in mind.
Sorry I ruined it.
I'm stupidly selfish. I took your wants and threw them away. I took you acceptance into your favorite college and forced you into the ruthlessness of LA. I took your dreams so that mine could come true. My stupid dream to be the most successful male in the entertainment industry. Because modeling simple wasn't enough, I had to do more.
Which was undoubtedly selfish of me because that wasn't even my dream. That was a career choice. My real dream, was to be with you.
And I hate myself for it. Because I could have just gone with you and been happy. I should have dropped everything and gone with you. But stupidly, I took you for granted and shoved you into a world you didn't want to be in.
YOU ARE READING
Fairy Tail x Reader
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