Getting to open up

Digging Deep

As I have recently learnt, the reasons why we do things, why we behave in certains ways or how we persuade ourselves to do those things are very far beyond. 

I tell myself I'm a positive person because I want to achieve great things in my life. However I feel like there are several obstacles that keep pushing me down. Have you ever had a bad dream where someone is chasing you and all you have to do is run. Yet, you can't seem to run fast because those legs are not listening to your mind and eventually the monster grabs you. Well, there you go, that's how it feels in real life as well. Only the monster is that particular obstacle and it is slowing you down. And you ask yourself:why ain't I strong enough to defeat and go past these obstacles; why am I letting those monsters under my bed disrupt my sleep; why can't those monsters become my friends instead of tearing me apart? Yeah, those questions that keep creating the 'noise', AGAIN!

Some problems just don't have solutions. This is the real world. You cannot expect to have a cough syrup for every little cold you catch. Instead, you need to learn how to not let them forget your dreams but most importantly not forget who you truly are. Let me recall my main problem: depression. It's like that monster which gets to my mind and eventually grabs me body. Instead of fighting back Everytime and drain away all my energy Every single time, I decided to embrace it. Accept it. You want to pay me a visit once a week. Great! Nice to meet you depression. I don't know why you are here but let's come to an agreement: we won't hate each other and we won't fight with each other. Turn that monster into your friend. Only friendship will make you understand it. It's easy to say but it takes a lot of patience to finally befriend that part of you. You don't have to feel bad because you are sad. Sadness is an emotion. And remember that emotions are meant to be felt and not fought against.

I am happy and that's great...
I am sad and that's okay...
         ... No matter who says what.