Hidden Smile

Confontation

I'm awake. I'm wide awake, ooh. A little Katy Perry references. Love it! well so I am awake and basically look like bearshit. But what do you expect from a girl who got basically crushed by her own stupid words, especially when you go all mad towards your crush. I can face palm myself to infinity. Just being honest. What was I thinking? Who am I, to talk to someone like that. I usually don't do that! Well, I also usually don't talk to other people than my mom, josh's family and him and Gens family and her. I don't even talk that much to my dad and especially not with that tone. But I can't rewind, although I'd love to do that. I won't act like a stupid. I just needed to get that off me. I can't say that that isn't inappropriate, because it totally is. I think I'm going to just ignore him, don't look at him not even make any eye contact because it might just get worse. And I'm too embarrassed. I feel like I just have to get away for a bit, but now my mom comes with the rare idea to 'go visit' them. Hell no mom I can't, not now, not after all I've said. I don't wanna look at him, so why would I go to his home? All of this drama happens before I even come out of bed. I didn't eat yesterday. Weird, that's nothing like me. I'm a food machine muahaha. Well I look like a mess right now, my hair is all messed up. My eyes are sleepy, my lips are dry and I can hardly speek out loud. I think it's time to get into the bathroom, dress up, get my stuff straight. I still have to go to school. School, where I have to see Harry in almost every lesson. What am I going to do? Damn it! We have this assignment. I'm glad it only had to be on paper. I think the best thing to do is mail everything, ask him to look at him and draft a bit himself on it and then send it back to me, so I can print it with both our names on it and hand it in. Simple, right? Not! My life's such a mess right now. I liked it more before, just daydreaming bout the perfect guy. Well turns out nobody's perfect. You only see them perfect. Yet I ztoll do like Harry. Don't get me wrong. It's just: You forget about the flaws they have, because you love or like that particular person. I figured that out. While crying, and overthinking everything again. Can I not!? But I think I'm going to clean up the mess I see in the mirror. Me. Only the outside of course because the inside is still healing. On my way to the bathroom.

____Bathroom___________

I looked into the mirror and kind of just scared the shit out of myself. I looked horrible. I wanted to stay home, but I know I couldn't. I washed my face, brushed my hair, put on some mascara and got out of the bathroom up to my bedroom again. I put on my black circle skirt , a skirt that's tight at the middle and then goes loose, and my blue top with 'blue mood' written on it. and my black jacket. I looove Jackets. I also had an idea to put on my laced up boots. Not tall boots, kinda ankle boots. Thought it might look good. So I put on my clothes and went downstairs. My tummy was making whale noises.

"Hungry?" I heard a voice saying. "I have to go but you can make some eggs and juice is in the fridge sweetie." Of Course my mum. Thought she'd still be mad. Well apparently not anymore.

"Yeah, thanks, mom." I said with my morning voice, which, for the record, isn't really, hmm, normal? Haha, yeah.

"Oh Jadie, are you going to see Harry today?"

"Uh yes?" I asked not knowing why she wants to know. I emmidiatly followed it by a whispering "I hope I won't see him."

I think my mom might heard a bit of the last as she said "What?"

"I said yes, mom."

"Oh okay, well ask him to give you his mom's number so I could call her for a meetup again!"

"Wait what!?" I shouted confused.

"Anne. Number. ask. Harry. Meetup." She said, she kinda made a short story out of it. I DON'T WANT TO HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO IGNORE HIM LIKE THIS. Pffffft. Well, I'm just gonna get breakfast and see what's going to happen. I made an egg, and drank some juice. My mom went away, probably to her job. Just like she told me. I stayed and watched some tv before going to school. I put on my shoes, the ones I wanted to put on, you know, the ankle boots... And went to school in a hurry as I was almost late. I even forgot my phone and to pack up some food. I was foodless and phoneless. Horrible! When I got on school, the bell immediately rang. That was the moment I realized I forgot something. Not something, Someone. I forgot to go to Josh. This is the first time I ever forgot to go to his house. AAAARGH I'm thinking of too much and I forgot my best friend ever. So stupid. Everyone was walking to their class and I went back to Josh's. He could still be at school and if he gets late, I'll get late too, because it would be my fault. So I ran to josh's and Ellie opened up.