Secrets [Zarry]

Open Back

On Wednesday evening, Louis and Niall were busy screaming at each other over some video game while Harry was locked in his room.

All day today and yesterday Harry had been laying around thinking about Zayn.

He hated himself because of it.

He'd been nothing but depressed and confused, so tonight in an effort to cheer himself up, he was putting on makeup.

He was wearing a plain white t-shirt that he'd cut the neck out of so it hung down off of his shoulders, and a pair of gym shorts.

His hair was up in a bun, a few curls hanging loose near his ears and neck.

Harry finished his eyes by adding a bit more mascara, looking at himself before moving to the lipstick next.

He carefully applied his favorite color, pressing his lips together and staring at his reflection when he finished.

Harry added just a little more blush, flinching when there was knocking at the door.

He paused, realizing Louis and Niall weren't arguing anymore.

"What?"

"Can we talk?" Zayn asked, the sound of his voice making goosebumps form across Harry's skin.

Harry got up and went to open the door, pausing after he unlocked it.

"Talk about what?" He asked.

"What happened." Zayn said, speaking much quieter now.

"I'm...not decent." Harry said, holding onto the doorknob and staring at the floor.

"I don't care."

"Well I do."

Zayn sighed. "Harry please just let me in so we can talk. It took me like half an hour to gather the nerve to even come over here."

Harry swallowed, reluctantly opening the door.

"Get in before one of the guys sees me." Harry mumbled.

"Are you getting ready to go somewhere?" Zayn asked, stepping in his room.

Harry closed the door behind him. "No, I was just....no."

Zayn couldn't help but stare at his face.

"Looks good." He said quietly, even though he was thinking so much more.

Harry could sense he meant more than he said, but as usual he assumed the worst.

"What did you come to talk about?" He asked, turning away from him and uncomfortably shuffling towards the bed.

"Um," Zayn began, scratching the back of his head.

"I'm not exactly gay."

Harry sat on the bed, keeping his eyes away from Zayn and not speaking.

"See I'm just kind of....drifting. I don't want to label myself. I like what I like, I don't see why there has to be so many labels." Zayn said.

"I'm...interested in you. I want to get closer to you."

"Get closer?" Harry echoed, daring to look at him.

"Yeah, I think you're a really interesting and attractive person and I want to get to know you better first as....sort of a friend but obviously not because of what happened. Then....we'll see what happens." Zayn said, hoping Harry didn't get angry again.

Harry's face was almost as red as his lipstick, and he looked down at his knees.

"Is that okay? I really want things to be okay." Zayn added, hating how desperate he sounded.

But he was.

Liam meant so much to him, and sure he had other friends here and there, but Harry was different.

Zayn felt a different connection with him.

One he didn't want to lose.

"Um, y-yeah. That sounds okay." Harry nodded, still blushing.

"So we're cool?" Zayn asked, daring to smile some.

Harry returned his smile, nodding again.

"Good. So...do you sometimes put that on for fun?" Zayn couldn't help but ask.

"Oh, no it just makes me feel better. It's honestly a stress reliever." Harry said.

"Plus it is kind of fun." He smiled.

Zayn smiled as well, but just for a moment.

"You told me to get in before the guys saw you...so they don't-"

"No. There's no way I could ever let them see me like this. I always wear jeans around them because I don't want them to know I shave. I don't wear open-toed shoes either because..." Harry trailed off, looking down at his toenails.

Zayn stared at him a moment. "I have a question."

"Okay." Harry said cautiously.

"Pretend there was a day where all of sudden everyone lost their ability to judge. Like...everyone could be who they wanted, dress how they wanted, all of that, and it would all be fine." Zayn said.

"How would you dress if you didn't fear judgement?"

"Judgement is one of many things I fear." Harry said.

"But...it's going to be more on the cold side tomorrow so I think I'd wear a pair of high waisted pants and a blouse under a long coat. I'd wear a scarf, and I'd paint my nails. I'd wear mostly nude shades on my face, nothing that would clash with my clothes. I'd wear my usual boots too." Harry said, imagining the outfit.

Zayn was imagining it too, and he already loved it.

"What if it was going to be hot tomorrow?" Zayn asked quietly, pulling up Harry's desk chair and straddling it.

"Um, I think I'd wear like a geometric patterned tank-top and shorts. But....like mid-thigh denim shorts. Or....no nevermind." Harry chuckled shyly.

"No, tell me." Zayn said gently, but sternly.

Harry was playing with his fingers now, shrugging. "Well maybe...a dress." He admitted, glancing at Zayn.

"Describe it to me." Zayn said, staring into his eyes.

"Floral. Thin straps, loose below the waist. I'd like an open back too." Harry said.

"Open back?" Zayn echoed, remembering the way Harry's back looked.

He never really thought a back would be so visually appealing, but Harry's was.

"Yeah, I like that." Harry said.

"Me too." Zayn said softly, trying to focus.

"Shoes?"

"Maybe heeled sandals." Harry smiled as he thought about it.

"Matching fingernails and toenails?" Zayn smiled.

Harry nodded.

"I'd want my hair braided. Like twin French braids. Maybe I'd wear fake eyelashes too. Those are fun." He smiled in a cute way.

Zayn watched him fondly, able to see the joy and passion in his eyes as he spoke.

It was a shame Harry hid all of this every day.

×××××××××××××
A/N: Doing a spin-off of your own story is such a strange thing to me, but I love the idea of it.
- Z