Only Him

Chapter 30

"I don't want to tell anyone just yet," I whispered into the small space between mine and Dimitri's bodies. We lay facing each other in our bed, both drawing lazy patterns over my stomach and our slumbering son within. Son. A boy. I had been awash with so many emotions in the doctors office earlier that day but now, as my mind processed everything and I drew strength from the man beside me, I found that I was so overwhelmingly happy. A boy. Lissa had been adamant since I'd first told her of my pregnancy that I'd have a girl. She'd spoken nonstop of anything she could, often incorporating words like 'pink' and 'dresses' and such. But I'd clung to the possibility of a boy. I was happy to be proven right.

While I was absolutely sure that I would have loved a daughter just as much as a son I was beginning to realize that I loved the idea of a mini-Dimitri in my life. I wanted to see the embodiment of the man I loved go through all of the stages of life. I hadn't known Dimitri in his earlier years but I knew with an unfounded conviction that watching our son grow up would give me a window into that previously unobtainable part of his life.

Besides, I liked being the only girl for Dimitri to love in our small family. He loved his sisters and mother and grandmother but that was a different kind of love. We were a family now, the two of us and our baby, and I was somewhat pleased that I'd remain the only girl in it. From here on out it would just be me and my men.

And I couldn't wait.

"Tell them what?" Dimitri asked quietly, voice rumbling with the pleasant roughness of impending sleep.

"That its a boy," I admitted. "I want this to be just ours, for a little longer."

He yawned and nodded in agreement, his fingers never stumbling in their soothing pattern. He was a much lulling the baby inside me to sleep with that pattern as he was himself. His soothing pattern was working its magic on me too, and I felt myself drifting off to sleep, thoughts spilling unimpeded from my sleepy lips.

"No more Kumquat," I sighed, snuggling deeper into my nest of pillows. "No more 'it' or 'they' or 'he or she'. It's 'him'. It always has been him. Amazing, perfect, beautiful," I yawned widely and whispered the last, "he's our son."

Lissa and I graduated from college two days after my doctor's appointment. The commencement ceremony was in the morning so Lissa managed to convince me that it was okay for us to participate in it without risking her safety. It was strange being watched instead of being the watcher as I crossed the stage to collect my diploma, rounded curve of my belly just visible through the baggy fabric of my graduation gown. I felt silly making such a big deal out of graduating when I knew I would do nothing with this degree but I still felt a small amount of pride when Dimitri presented me with a large bouquet of flowers and kissed me thoroughly in the middle of the arena.

That night, back at Court, we held a celebratory party at my apartment. Dimitri's entire family, my parents, Lissa and Christian, Sonya, Mikhail and Mandy all squeezed into the small space, laughing happily as we tried to one-up each other with embarrassing stories. Sonya and Dimitri had us all roaring with laughter when they told us about their time in Palm Springs with Adrian and Sydney. Sonya's impersonation of Adrian when he discovered she used his hair products was priceless. Lissa and Dimitri had a few embarrassing stories at my own expense, ones I happily compensated for. A few stories about when Lissa and I were fumbling our way through human society had both of us blushing. Dimitri added a few stories of his own about how he'd managed to track us down in Portland.

I felt myself getting emotional throughout the night as I realized I was surrounded by almost everyone I loved. It was a good reminder of the people who would always be there for me. Sydney and Adrian and Jill had all returned to California the week after I'd gotten home and while I missed them we'd gotten a phone call from them earlier. Sydney was particularly proud of Lissa and my accomplishment as she herself finished up her own degree. They'd promised to visit again when the baby was born.