Only Him

Chapter 41

Dimitri and I leaned our heads together, cooing gently over the small, mewling form of life clutched to my chest. The last twenty hours had been a whirlwind of fear, pain and doubt but lying here together, pressed close against each other on the hospital bed as we stared at the result of all those emotions, I felt calm and sure at last.

"He's perfect," I breathed, running a careful finger down the arch of his nose, exactly the same slope as his fathers. Everything had happened so quickly after he was finally born. Dimitri had cut the umbilical cord and then Dr. Gibson had whisked him away, clearing his airway and checking him for any problems associated with his early birth. He'd been put in a warming chamber with an oxygen mask for a few hours and we hadn't been able to hold him until now, several hours later, when he had been completely cleared by Dr. Gibson. "Robust" and "fit" were among the words she'd used to describe him as she handed over the small body at last. "Dhampir" was another word.

Small was one of the first words I thought. Five pounds no ounces and nineteen inches long. Small, robust, fit and absolutely perfect. Our friends and my parents had all stayed long enough to fawn over him and congratulate us before clearing out and giving us the family time we so desperately wanted.

And I couldn't stop staring at him. I didn't want to miss a single detail, from the dark fuzz of hair covering his head in a cap—a color identical to my own—to the shape of his eyes and the length of his lashes. He looked like Dimitri. I'd read somewhere in my pregnancy research that babies often looked like their fathers, a way of reassuring said man that it was his offspring and something to be protected. The part of me that was still interested in animal behavior and biology found that pretty interesting. The maternal side of me was just overwhelmed with love at seeing the reflections of the man I loved in my child.

"Absolyutno krasivyy." Dimitri whispered. Absolutely beautiful.

I could only agree.

"He has your nose," I whispered, running my finger over the bridge of said nose again, watching in fascination as the sleeping child's features twitched in response, nose wrinkling slightly—a response I recognized as my own. "And the shape of your eyes," I traced those too, watching the eyes flick back and forth beneath the lavender shaded eyelids. "And definitely your lips." I was very familiar with Dimitri's lips and I recognized our sons for what they were—a perfect replica of his fathers. The strong curve of lower lip, the slightly fuller upper lip. So many similarities recognizable at a glance. I wondered what other similarities would become apparent as he grew and developed his own personality.

"But he has your hair," Dimitri assured me. "And your ears," he reached out to gently trace the curve of his ears. "And the set of your jaw."

"He's perfect," I repeated, tightening my grip on the warm, swaddled form of our son. "Perfect, beautiful, amazing Aleksey."

"You didn't decide to go with Mason?" Lissa asked me as she fawned over her godson, currently cradled in her arms. She had returned at the dawn of the new Moroi day, determined to come and properly meet Aleksey at last after waiting on pins and needles throughout the night. I'd appreciated the distance though, finding that the time spent with just Dimitri and our son had been critical for grounding me in my new reality of parenthood. I could feel my life and priorities shifting as if they were a physical presence, my actions, thoughts and intentions all moving to center on Aleksey and his welfare.

"I thought about it," I admitted to my best friend. I was sitting on my hospital bed, picking idly at the Jell-O that had been provided with my breakfast. Dimitri had gone home to shower though I knew that he was just being generous and letting me have my time with Lissa. I had no doubt that he would have been glued to our son's side if he didn't take others into consideration. I was debating the possibility of my own shower while Lissa babysat but decided against it. While I was feeling nominally recovered from the ordeal of childbirth I didn't want to press my luck and face-plant on wet tiles, further delaying my return home. "I loved Mason and would love to commemorate him in some way but it didn't feel right." I shrugged. "I'll just leave that honor for Eddie whenever he and Jill start popping out kids."