The Art of Learning to Breathe

S i x

Make sure to like and comment if you enjoyed this chapter and give my account a follow for updates on when I will be publishing chapters, news and information on what is happening around here!

Thank you to Live2BeUnique for the gorgeous cover she made for me! Thank you so much!!

"I don't think people understand how stressful it is to explain what's going on inside your head when you don't even understand it yourself"

The week flew by at the speed of lightning and before I knew it, it was already Friday evening. More specifically, one of the only evening everyone could join together and eat dinner as a family. One of many dinners of torture as I would call it.

So, here I am, waiting for the smell of our regular Friday night fish and chips to greet my nose and the sound of mum shouting my name from downstairs signalising I have less than two minutes to wash my hands and be ready at the dinner table before my mother scolds me like a child and in her annoyance she remembers how today is finally Friday. Meaning one thing, Adelaine's chores day.

I pick up my phone and turn it on with hesitation. Yes, I do have a technological device. No, I am by no means one to use it for communication unless you count my parents, Grandma Reina and then the single and divorced Louise Ann Johnson from down the road who's kids I once upon a time looked after when times got rough for the Johnson's and divorce papers were flying everywhere. And I say that the divorce papers were flying I say that with no exaggeration. I shake my head in disappointment and turn the phone back off.

I am a loner. A lone wolf. And I particularly mind that, I never have. No, that much anyway.

Sure, everyone needs a friend, and in my case, my parents have always been my only friends. The people who will never leave me, who loves me no matter what and everything they do is out of love and for my benefit. Of course, I am not saying my parents are the perfect people. Nobody. Them especially. Everyone has flaws and both of them definitely do too. Misunderstanding is one of them. Especially with my mum. Being their causal workaholic selves could also I guess be counted as a flaw but a positive too. Their dedication had always been something that amazed me from the day I learned the word.

One thing I do know is that I don't blame her nor my dad for not understanding what it's really like to live with the feeling of suffocation in every single situation possible. Of course, I don't blame them for not being able to understand the fact that someone could act like they were so happy on the outside but on the inside what hides beneath those layers of thick skin is a true emotional wreck. I don't even understand it myself.

One second I could feel great, even though it's pretty rare nowadays it was still possible, and the next second I'd feel like death. I'd feel the tears wanting to escape from my emerald green orbs and having the sudden urge just to go hide away in the closest dark corner I could reach and tuck my legs as close as possible to my body and finally let my head fall onto my knees and cry.