ᵃᶠᵗᵉʳᵐᵃᵗʰ ▸ 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐀 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐅𝐅 ✓

five.

AFTERMATH.
005. ❛ secret santa. ❜

It was somebody's idea to do Secret Santa ( Steve ) and since he made a pretty compelling case for it, everyone was onboard. It would've been great and all because I knew in my mind what I would plan if I got each individual person. Clint would be a new bow, Bruce would get a new pair of glasses since the last pair broke due to a Hulk incident, Wanda a homemade dish from Sokovia, and the list would continue. Except for one and possibly the hardest one to shop for — Natasha.

It wasn't like I didn't know what to shop for, it was more like anything I had chosen wasn't good enough. She didn't exactly made it known what she wanted for Christmas, mostly because we didn't celebrate often as we should. But past gifts she had given her were one of the best, and now I'm all out of ideas.

She wasn't one to wear jewelry or be into those accessories like I am. She's not necessarily into chocolates or trips to the spa either. I just needed one thing to hit me in the back of the head to get because I have a week to get this gift, and if I don know what to get then I'm screwed. Not many people know this but I'm the best gift giver ever, and I'm not going to let this ruin my streak.

I just have to think back to what Natasha and I had been conversing about in the past.

In the last couple of weeks, we would just chat and have a drink or two and talk about our problems. More about my problems and how I'm still going to therapy, and how she tells me that I'm getting better. She partially says that it's thanks to me writing in this journal and letting out my feelings that remain trapped inside me sometimes. And Natasha also made me see that keeping those feelings bottled up is never a good thing, especially for me — since she thinks I'm an angel sent from heaven sometimes. Those talks are almost every other day, and Natasha says how liberated she feels when she could talk to me.

Oh my god! This book actually helped in someway. Thank you, Tony even though you'll probably never see this because these aren't intended for you.

I know exactly what to get her — a nice bottle of Russian vodka alongside a another nice bottle of Russian Wine.