Falling From Grace: Student-Teacher Forbidden Romance

Chapter 41

[RECAP: A scholarship to drama school has been announced at St Winifred's. And now Father Gabriel has asked Leonie to stay behind after class...]

To Leonie's relief, as soon as the last girl was out of the door and safely down the corridor, Father Gabriel's attitude relaxed.

"I've missed you."

It was all she needed to hear. She had been so worried he was going to slam the door shut, figuratively. "I've missed you too."

He looked at her for a while. "I guess you know how I feel about you."

"Do I?" Leonie actually wanted to hear it from him.

He gave a half smile, that was more sad than joyful. "I'm in love with you. But I shouldn't be. The question is what we're going to do about it."

Do about it? Couldn't they just give in to it and be together?

He continued. "So far prayer and trying to convince myself I'll get it out of my system isn't working."

"I don't want you to get it out of your system," Leonie said. She felt annoyed at the idea, and scared.

"What I should do is go very far from here for a very long time, and try to forget you."

This brought tears to Leonie's eyes. "You said we could at least be friends."

Gabriel took her hands. "I know I did, darling. But trying to keep on that side of the line when I see you is almost impossible."

When he called her that it felt as though they were a couple. All the more with him holding her hands.

"What you wrote in your letter, did you really mean it?" Leonie asked.

"Which part?"

"All of it. Being in bed and wanting me with you."

He laughed. "More than you know. I can barely sleep at nights here, thinking of you just a building away and longing for you."

"It's the same for me."

They were both silent for a moment, and then Gabriel swore under his breath. Then his lips were on hers and she was drowning in him. It was like quenching a thirst. Leonie didn't even care at that moment if Mother Benedict walked in, she was so lost in him.

He broke off, and murmured near her ear. "What I want to do is have you in my bed, strip you naked, and make you mine."

Leonie felt dizzy just hearing these words. "Can't we do that? If I managed to get out one night?" It would mean telling the others, but she was sure they would cover for her. Harry would, anyway.

"I could't put you at that much risk. Right now if I got discovered and sacked, I almost couldn't care. But we're not risking your future like that."

When he mentioned the future, Leonie remembered the announcement in assembly. "I was thinking of applying for that RADA scholarship. If I managed to stay in London next year, would you still want to see me?"

"Right now if you went back home I would be on the next plane across the Atlantic, the way I'm feeling," Gabriel told her.

"So can't we at least try? Even if we have to be careful for now?"

"Not with this." He indicated his collar.

Fire momentarily flared in Leonie's eyes. "Some days I feel like just ripping it off you."

"The image of you tearing my clothes off doesn't do a lot to help me keep this under control," Gabriel said, smiling.

"Good." Leonie felt defiant. He was giving her such mixed signals. Why did he keep telling her how much he wanted her if he was going to keep insisting it was all impossible? "So it is forever, then?"

"What?"

"This." Leonie ran her finger around the top of his collar. "Can you never leave the priesthood?"

Gabriel looked solemn again. "I don't know. I've been giving it some serious thought. I don't know if this - you and me - is just a temptation along the path."

"You mean you'll eventually get over me?"

"No." He put his hands on either side of her face and looked deep into her eyes. "I don't think I'll ever get over you, Leonie. What I don't know is whether you're a sacrifice I'm supposed to make. Whether my love for you is a burden I'm supposed to bear, as part of my vocation."

Leonie thought this was stupid and unfair. "You mean I'm supposed to just be some kind of test? How is that fair on me? I can't see why a benevolent god would use me like that."

"Leonie." He looked sad now. "I didn't mean this to shake your faith. But you're so young. You'll study, travel, meet people. You'll fall in love again. Probably many times."

As he said this, Leonie rejected it with every fibre of her body. She knew he was wrong. "I won't do. I don't know how I can prove it to you, but I know."

This time she reached up and kissed him, pulling his face down to hers. As the kiss deepened, Gabriel took over and became more forceful, moulding her body to his. He was hungry for her, gripping her, exploring her.

Ending the embrace was a kind of agony but they both had to regain control.

"This is going to be even harder than I imagined," Gabriel said. He pushed his hand through his hair. "For both our sakes I need to develop better self-control. You'd better run along. We'll talk about this again later, when we've both had some more time to think."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He's not doing very well sticking to his vows, is he?!

Falling From Grace is now COMPLETE ON RADISH. 

So if you're desperate to find out early what happens to Leonie and Father Gabriel, it's all on there! 

(Otherwise it will still be published here for free!)