Gay/ Joshler

23.

a/n It's 3:30am and stormy. Let's try write another chapter! Rip lmao.

It's been 2 days.
Tyler hasn't spoke to Jenna and Brendon since.
Or ate.
Or slept.
He knows it's wrong, he hasn't seen Josh yet.
He can't bring himself to go, to see what state he's in now.
But today, he is.

Tyler's pov:
Do I take anything? Do I need to bring anything? Shall I just turn up? Or do I book the visiting time?

My mom pleads that she takes me up there. She doesn't want me to be in that hospital bed next. I go up there with baked goods incase the Duns are there, as a gesture from mom. Cheese straws. The best.

Mom and I agree that she will wait in the parking lot for me, and I shall ring her if something goes wrong. I shelter the cheese straws with my baggy shirt since the rain is beginning to drizzle, then running towards the entrance.

It's busier today.

A young child is yelling and crying on the floor in front of his mother. An elderly lady is left neglected in a wheel chair with a mask on her face. Nurses and doctors rush around me. "I'm here to visit Josh Dun" my voice drifts quietly. "Through those doors. Down the corridor, take a left. He's in room 30a"

"Through the doors, down here, left, room 30a...easy enough" I talk to myself aloud. My speech is stopped shortly when I come face to face with Laura and Ashley. We stand for a moment, feet shuffling and shirt tugging, before saying a word. "I brought you guys cheese straws, from mom" I hold out. "That lady is a star" Laura thanks me briefly with a smile creeping on her cheeks. Ashley takes one look at me before throwing herself at me, wrapping her arms around me tightly. I'm taken aback before I melt into the embrace, too. Silently, I run my hand over her hair, as a way to show I understand her pain, whilst she makes my shirt damp. "Come on Ash, let Tyler get off" she hurries us. "When I'm here tomorrow, I'll pick you up.  We'll make a day of it" I wipe the pads of my thumb on her cheeks to wipe her tears. She agrees to my deal and we part.

Room 30a. I peer in. Still the same yellow hair. Small, slow steps at a time, I walk through the door way, heart beating out my chest. I slink over to his bed. where he lays lifeless. He looks so uncomfortable. Another step and I get a clear look of his face.

"Oh Josh"

Now, I feel uncomfortable. He has a tube in his nose. I can't help but gag subtly.

His eyes are closed shut and look dark and appear hollow in his face. His skin is way paler than usual. Almost colourless. The black stitches are the only coloured thing on his face, as well as redness around his nose , my best guess is from the tubes being in and out of his nose. His lips are a shade of blue and are chapped.

I pull the chair over to be closer to him. I have no clue what to do with myself now. I look around the block colour room awkwardly then I remember mom saying something along the lines of "hearing is the last sense before someone passes", so I guess I should make one way conversation? I slide my fingers in between his cold ones with a soft grip. 

"Hey. It's Tyler" too obvious I'm glad you came  "You don't look too good"You don't sound too good  "I'm sorry I hadn't come sooner" How long have I been here?  "Your dad told me to come by another time" I nervously giggle. Flashbacks appear from that night. Waiting cautiously in the waiting room, having a panic attack, scratching the back of my hand or counting up to 50 in a way to calm myself. I shake off the thoughts and focus on him for a moment. 

"I see you've had quite a few visitors in here" noticing the picture frames, deflated balloons and browning flowers. I have?  "Me and Abi are visiting tomorrow, we will get you something". I cup his hand in my two small hands, painted with deep cuts. As I open my mouth, an elderly nurse interrupts with a gentle knock to the door. "Oh sorry, sweetheart-" I hear her apparent southern accent. "I'm here to change his tubes and bandages" she winces, she might feel guilty for barging in. "My bad, Il go..." I lay his hand on the sheets as I stand up. "You can stay, some choose to wait outside whilst we do it. It's not pleasant to see, or do" her voice is chirpy despite this situation. "Uh, Il wait outside then" she nods solemnly before turning to Josh. 

I know they say 'curiosity kills the cat' but I cant help but peer around the door frame. I know what ever I see wont be nice. She pulls two attached tubes from his nose and slowly threads them back down. My eyes widen in shock. I watch a thick,brown liquid seep in. My stomach tightens and my hands become cold and clammy. She moves onto the head bandage but I've seen enough. In a flurry of panic, I run to the doors and straight out them. A lump forms in my throat and my heart beats rapidly. I run through the waiting room and I hear a faint voice yelling, "Sir, sir?!" but I run out into the car park, in luck to find moms cars still there.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" my mothers furrowed brows and shaky voice stops my heart from racing wild. "I can't bare to see him like that, please, can we just go home?" I plead her, fighting to put my seat belt on. "What about him?!" "There's tubes everywhere, his eyes are sinking into his sockets, his skin is pale as fuck. There's a machine that's keeping him alive, for fuck sake!" I scream at her. She glares at me before beginning to drive. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout like th-" "It's fine. We're going home now.