crush imagines

cancer p. 2

so i promised to make this like five months ago but i never did so here we go haha
also i didn't know how to end it so it's a pretty awful ending.

✾

A year.

A happy one, no doubt. But it's over now. They said I have a year to live. It's been a year and today I go to the doctor to see how I'm doing.

Each day I lug around a heavy oxygen bag and I look pretty stupid, to be honest. It gets annoying.

When my friends all go to the beach I can't go, because of cancer. When they wanna do something spontaneous, I usually couldn't join. Once again, because of cancer.

C/n has been a big help, but during the past year I felt like a chain, holding him underwater. He has so many reasons to leave me, to look for someone else.

But every single day when he comes over, he says he wants me. Me, the girl with lung cancer who isn't gonna make it past eighteen.

The girl who has no future marriage, no future kids, no future grandkids.

When I was fourteen and cancer-free, I promised myself I'd never have kids. Now that's all I want to have.

It kills me to see C/n attached to me when I'm just going to leave him heartbroken.

"Y/n, come on! You're going to be late." My mum shouts up to me. I finish applying my mascara and straightening my hair.

"Yep, I'm coming!" I yell back, grabbing my bag off of my desk chair and racing down the stairs, my oxygen tank hanging off my back.

"Careful dear, not so fast." She says, placing her arm on my shoulder.

✤

The checkup goes the same as usual. My mum speaks to the doctor privately and I sit there while the nurse tries to distract me.

We arrive at home and C/n is already asleep on my bed. I sit next to him and stroke his soft h/c hair gently to wake him up.

His eyes flutter open, revealing his tired e/c eyes. I press my lips to his forehead. "You're so beautiful." He mumbles under his breath, loud enough for me to hear.

A year drips down my face and his eyes immediately turn soft. "Babe, you okay?" He asks, his voice soft as if he were speaking to a sleeping baby.

I bury my head into his chest and cry. "I- I just want kids. I want to marry you and have little baby C/ns and Y/ns running around, I don't want it to end like this." I sob uncontrollably.

He tries his hardest to stay strong, but he breaks out, crying into the crook of my neck. "I know." He whispers.

"I love you so much, C/n." I tell him, pulling his face up in my hands. "Please, never forget that." I whisper, pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

"I promise." He says, embracing me. We lay there for hours, holding onto each other because it's the last week we'll be together.

✤

"Y/n, we have some good news and some bad news." The doctor says, walking in the room as I sit on the seat. "Good news?"

"You haven't gotten any worse since last year and we think you may live longer." The doctor says, a huge smile on his face.

I widen my eyes and look at C/n who's sitting on the chair next to me. He grips my hand tightly and kisses my cheek.

"The bad news is we don't know how much time you've got left." He adds, his smile turning into a frown.

"But I've got time?" I ask him, smiling like a lunatic.

"Yes."

Months go by and each month my body feels like it's healing. I have more energy, I don't use my oxygen tank as much and I can breathe normal air much easier.

I get a call from C/n. "Hey, i was just wondering if you would like to meet me at our spot?" He asks me.

"Sure. See you soon." I say before hanging up.

I drive to our spot which overlooks the ocean and the sunset is just beginning.

"Wow." I hear from behind me. I immediately know who it is and smile. "Beautiful, isn't it?" I say as he wraps his arms around my torso. He leans his head on my shoulder.

"Y/n, we've only dated for a year but I swear I am so in love with you, and I don't even know what to do with myself. You've made my world brighter and I can't imagine my life without you. Every night I pray to God that he'll give me longer with you. I know we're young, but life is short and I want to spend the rest of mine with you." C/n gets on one knee.

"Y/n Y/m/n Y/l/n, will you marry me?" He asks, pulling out a large diamond ring.

"Of course." I reply, embracing him into a tight hug.

"I love you so much." I whisper.

"I love you too."