My secret

Chapter 16

I woke up the next day thinking about last night. It was amazing and I had a great time. Jordan had texted me good morning and that made me smile.

I said good morning back but knew he was at work. I went out to the living room and Matt and Allie were siting on the couch smiling. So did you have fun last night Allie asked me still smiling at Matt.

Yea I did I'm glad he surprised me and you two are sneaky I said. Well yes we are Matt said laughing but you had a good time. It was nice to finally see you smiling he said.

Thanks I said walking back to my room. I put some shoes on and went and sat outside to watch the ocean. As I was watching the waves I went into deep thought.

Daydream

Hey Melanie can I ask you something Matt said coming outside. Yea sure go for it I said to him. Well more along the lines of can I tell you a secret.

Sure I said looking at him oddly, he seemed nervous I thought. What if I told you that for the past few days I can't get this out of my head. What if I told you that all I have wanted to do is kiss you he said.

I looked at him shocked , what if I told you I know you want to kiss me to he said. He took a step closer to me and what if I said I'm about to kiss you right now.

He kept moving closer to me I hadn't moved from my seat yet. What if he leaned down and rested his hands on the arm rest of my seat. He leaned in and kissed me and didn't stop.

The kiss got a little deeper and his hands went to my sides. He pulled me up to a standing position without breaking the kiss. He kept his hands on my hips and kissed me.

His hands started sliding up my shirt. Melanie I heard someone say snapping me out of my thoughts. Yes I said looking over and seeing Allie standing there.

Matt and I our going on a lunch date. We're taking the kids to his moms for a couple days as well she said. We should be back in a couple hours you going to be okay here she asked.

Yea I'll be fine might even go to the beach I said. Okay just take your key lock up and make sure you have your phone. I will I said to her, good thank
You she said disappearing back into the house.

I sat there for a moment and went inside to get ready. They were headed out when I came in. Will see you later she said I smiled as they left and waved.

I decided to get ready to head to the beach. I grabbed blue tank top and some black shorts and got dressed.

I was sitting there when my thoughts wandered again.

Daydream

Matt came into my room hey I had Allie take the kids to my moms he said. Then she is going to get her hair done I needed to talk to you alone. He was sitting next to me on my bed.

What's going on I asked him looking confused. Just don't talk he said leaning in and kissing me. He kept kissing me and laid me down on the bed.

He let his hands go up my shirt he didn't stop kissing me. He went to my neck then back to my lips. He took my shirt off and went back to kissing me.

We didn't stop kissing his shirt came off as well. Then he reached his hand down my shorts. My phone beeped scaring the crap out of me. I looked down it was a message from Matt.

Matt- have you left yet ?
Me- not yet why ?
Matt- please take out the steak from the freezer before you leave
Me - sure I can do that
Matt- thank you :)
Me-:)

I hate how much I like him , ugh I put my shoes on. I headed to the kitchen and took the steak out. I put it in the sink and grabbed my keys.

Made sure my phone had a good charge it had 70% so that's good. I put my headphones in and left the house. I made sure I locked up and headed out the door.

I put my headphones in and started walking. Maddie and Tae filled my ears , I sang along to no place like you. I was at the beach before I knew it.

I was on the beach when the song good enough came on. I took my shoes off and started walking along the beach. I always walked the shoreline.

I loved the smell of ocean air and it was a clear day today. The heat wasn't bad either which was nice. I had been walking for a little bit and I looked out at the ocean.

I started singing, Am I still not good enough am I still not worth that much I'm sorry for the way my life turned out I'm sorry for the smile I'm wearing now guess I'm still not good enough......

The song ended and I actually kind of felt better. It's like I was talking to the ocean sounds dumb but it helped. I started walking again skipping through my playlist.

I was walking along when I saw Matt and Allie having lunch outside at a beach side café. He seems so in love with her and she is in love with him just as much.

I don't know why but I watched them for a few minutes. Matt leaned over the table and kissed her long and deep.

They broke apart and they were talking and then looked my way. I looked away quickly and started walking away. I knew they were staring at me as I walked away.

So I walked faster and headed towards home. Once I got there I unblocked the door and went to take a shower.

I let the water hit me and then I sat down on the shower floor. For some reason all I could was cry. I cried with everything that was inside of me that I didn't even know I was feeling.

I got out of the shower after I washed off and calmed down. I walked into the living room to be startled by Allie and Matt.

Oh crap I said jumping, I didn't know you guys were home yet. Yea we got about 15 minutes ago Allie said. Well welcome home I said laughing now that my heart had restarted.

Well I was just taking a shower after my walk on the beach I said. Well thank you for taking out the steaks and also we saw you at the beach Matt said.

Huh I didn't see you guys I said , well we thought you did but okay Allie said not sounding so sure.

I'm going to go call Jordan and see how his day was I said. Alright well dinner will done at about 6 Matt said. Okay well I'm not really hungry I said.

Have you ate today he asked me giving me that look he gives. You know that look where they already know the anwser so lying is pointless.

No I said mainly cause of the look, then your eating he said with a smirk. I rolled my eyes and walked away to my room. Just today was one of those days where I didn't feel like eating I thought to myself laying down on my bed.

Oh well I thought to myself I'll eat I don't want to but I will. I know it's my healthy my habits it's just not that easy. I need to move past this I thought I really do just I feel like I'm stuck.

Looked at my clock Jordan won't be off work for another 20 minutes. So I was flicking through the tv looking for something to watch while I waited.....