To Love A King

LILLIAN

i'd never met a fate quite as cruel as this

if it had had a persona

it would've been

a man

with bloodied hands

and a grin wild

from a night filled with screams

it would've been a man

who was willing to rip

everything from me

just to hear

my sweet sweet fear

- only in my nightmares does he exist now.

+++

My first memory of Anthony is when one of the wolf guards on the village school ground took Anthony's one and only apple that his mother or father- to this day I don't know whether it is his father or mother who packs his lunch, kisses his wounds, we don't talk about things like that. I'd say we barely know each other truly if I'm being honest. Our worlds are full of secrets - I remember Anthony's small, dirt encrusted face trying hard to fight back tears.

I remember my own rage at the wolf guards smug face.

And I remember chucking a rock so heavy that I'm surprised my 7-year-old body could throw it, at the wolf guards head.

I also remember taking Anthony's apple back and forcing him to split it in half with me.

My services aren't free.

They have never been.

+++

A man stole my first kiss at the age of 12. He took more too.

When he was done and his snores were so loud they shook the house, I took a pan and smashed his head in.

No one would care about a dead drunk man. Not anymore than they would care about a raped little girl.

+++

My mother liked to brush my hair. Of course, we didn't own a brush so she used her fingers. But she would brush it all the same. 

She would tell me stories. Of the Six Goddess's. How they created the moon and the stars. The sun and the sky.

I asked her about the wolves. I asked her why the Six Goddess's would curse us with such a life.

She shushed me, her voice ever so gentle. She told me the Goddess's didn't rule over the wolves. 

"That's bullshit," I murmured. She told me 13-year-old girls did not talk that way. 

I looked up at my mother and wondered how I could be so different. While she was a daughter of Nydite I was a daughter of Hylla. 

I thought it was utterly strange. 

Hope and wrath. Mother and daughter. Life and death.

+++

The sweat stung my eyes. I wiped it from my brows and just smeared more dirt on my face. My hair was in my face and mouth, I remember wishing it would just disappear in that moment.

But I was pissed. Someone was hunting in my spot. There was not even enough food for my family. Let alone someone else.

Starvation makes us wild creatures. And I was willing to do anything for whatever vermin this piece of shit was gonna take from me.

I was taken aback by who was actually in my woods. A girl. A girl who reminded me of the embodiment of the night. 

She had a strange air about her, something seemed off, I couldn't quite place it. It felt almost suffocating for a moment. 

She had a slight dance to her step. I tilted my head to get a better look at what I was convinced was an inhuman specimen. 

A loud crack resounded through the surrounding area as I stepped on a twig. I cursed under my breath. There goes any animal and my cover. 

Her laugh sounded like bells in the wind. 

"Won't you come out now? Hunter girl."

I bit the inside of my cheek as I stepped behind the bush.

I was not aware my life would go to shit after meeting her. I was not aware she would be my downfall. I was not aware she was my fate. I was not aware of the nights to come. That she would help ignite a spark that would consume the world.

I was not aware she would rip my heart out and throw it to the wolves herself.

How naive I was.

Young love does that. Starstruck girl.

"This is my land," I said. 

The rest, as they say, is history.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________-

this was purely for me to be honest. Just some snipbits of lillians life before the wolf king. 

hope you enjoyed! just something for me being so shitty with updates lately lmao

don't forget to vote and comment if you enjoyed!! :D