To Love A King

Chapter 26

No one calls you honey when you're sitting on a throne  - A Little Wicked

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What has become of us?

I ask,
what has become of us?
What has become of us?
She doesn't answer,
of course.
She's so deep in the ground
even if she were screaming
the answer I so desperately needed,
how would I know?

+++

Her screams clung to the recesses of my mind.

"Lillian! Help me! Lillian oh gods Lillian please!"

I fought so hard, I kicked and screamed, I bit wolf flesh right off the bone and spit it in the monster's face. 

He had fire in his eyes, as did I. I prayed to Hylla for it to burn him. Burn him from the inside.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH HER! DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH HER YOU BASTARDS! I'LL TEAR YOUR INSIDES FUCKING OUT! DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE, I'LL KILL YOU ALL! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU ALL!"

The taste of blood wolf blood clogged up my mouth, choking whatever words I dared speak. 

A wolf brought his knee straight into my face, a sickening crunch filled the empty field. 

I screamed, loudly. Not out of pain or fear. Anger. 

Soon my anger left, when I realized what little hope there was, my voice was nothing but a whisper as I said, "Is it ever enough? What is there to take? What is left?"

A rough hand gripped my face, the wolf was achingly beautiful. Handsome, my blind rage couldn't cover that. His grin was cruel, mocking my pain. 

"I want you to watch. Watch your lover die."

So I watched Rose die in an empty field. Surrounded by monsters. The grass was a rotting yellow, summer had died. 

Hylla wouldn't help me now. I was her daughter but her daughters must learn to bear pain themselves.

But Hylla would help light my anger ablaze. She would guide the way, she would pave my revenge and I would follow. 

The wolves created their own destruction. They will reap what they sow.

+++

 "Lillian!"

I awake with a jolt. The king's dark eyes staring into mine. Oh how different they are then the last wolf who started at me with such intensity.

For a brief moment, I wondered if he knew. If he knew he had been drugged. It seemed like something kings would know. I feel I would know if I had been drugged.

But he said not a word. Of course, he didn't. King's for all their power are not all-knowing.

"You were screaming."

"I do that a lot."

For a moment the king seemed to have lost all fight, "Lillian, you're safe."

Liar, I wanted to say. Liar liar.

"No one is safe. Not when we walk among wolves and dragons and witches and tricksters and bloodsuckers." Monsters is what I truly meant. 

His hand rubbed at his face. I tilt my head slightly. So much cleverness in his stare. I send a prayer out for the fairy queen. The king of wolves is oh so much more then he looks. 

"We've decided for only one more meeting. One more night here. We have all decided it's best to get back to our territories." 

I raise my brows, "Strange."

He eyes me up and down, how exhausted he looks. "There's something bad coming little fox. It's best if we get you back to your trees."

Liar. He just wants to go back. This has nothing to do with me. 

There is a storm coming, and it's going to tear everything he is apart. 

Poor darling King.

"Get changed little fox."

I resist the childish urge to say the same thing back to him.

Before he turns away I grab onto his arm, "I'm ready for the coronation. I've seen you're people, I've walked among them. I've had some...Misconceptions about them. But I know now. Ares, you were right. It is time. When we get back, it is time."

He has suspicion in his eyes, as I knew he would. But for anything to truly work I need that title. I need to truly be the queen of wolves. 

"Anula mentioned the time was near. Said this meeting might show you who you were truly meant to be."

Anula, oh the irony has been sewed into us both it seems. She knows. 

"It is time little fox, you are right."

I don't smile, no need to raise his paranoia. 

We both never smile I notice. In another life, I think we might have been perfect for each other.

While the maids leave out what I am to wear, I think of the fae queen's words. I think of what need's to be done. 

I force myself to realize change never does come peacefully

+++

I, of course, don't wear the gods condemned dress they lay out for me. Opting for a simple billowy white shirt which was probably the kings and a pair of training pants. No shoes of course, even in this barren place I will not lose who I am. I will not let them forget where I come from, they will not forget what I am.

The king was not surprisingly waiting for me outside the door.  With a sick sense of guilt, I know we've fallen into some sort of routine. No matter where we are. I try not to think of what my people would think of me now. They would understand, wouldn't they? That what I'm doing, I'm doing for a better future?

No, I think, they would see only a little girl on the arm of a wolf king.

+++

We find our way into the strangely shaped room yet again. 

What looks to be breakfast food is laid out all on the huge table.

I force myself to swallow the bile in my throat. My people starve and yet all this food, and where might it go after this is all over? Certainly not to the people who need it the most.

After all, what do king's know of the needs of those lower?

The wolf king fills my plate but I can't bring myself to lift up the fork. It takes so much to not stand up and scream. Scream at these men, who know nothing of true pain, of true hunger. The feeling of your own body turning in on itself. A sense of cold known only in the times when there is nothing. Nothing.

The king is angry with me, "Eat."

I am shaking from anger. My muscles are tense ready to fight, to end it all now. Let the kings spill real blood on their fucking table.

He says again, "Eat."

I slowly lift the fork to my mouth.

Whatever it was, it tasted like ashes in my mouth.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CAN YALL FUCKING BELIEVE I UPDATED??????????????????????????????? I CAN'T LMAOOOOO

I TOLD YALL I WASn"T ABONDONING THIS THING!!! 

but being serious, lillian by this point in my life is such a huge part of me that i couldn't just leave this story unfinished. lillian deserves an ending. So get ready for the last parts of this book because its going to be a fucking ride.

as always don't forget to vote and comment on this if you enjoyed it, i love to know your guy's thoughts.

So now, you know how rose died, do you think you understand lillian's pain better now? :D