Behind the Cherry Tree, A Not-So-Short Story

17. Made of Stone

The park hasn't really been the same for the last few weeks. Mike leaves forever very soon. There are mixed feelings about that. The group is full of awkward silences and shifting eyes, none of us quite sure just how to react to what Mike said, not sure quite what to say to move on from it.

We're almost in winter now. The cherry tree is almost barren of leaves, but the body of the cherry wood trunk gives me comfort even in the dropping temperature. I've resolved to cut Mike out of my life completely, going about my normal routine as per usual. However Will has other ideas, he treats me like I'm made of glass and although I appreciate the gesture it just pisses me off. I don't think he gets that I don't like feeling more pathetic and useless than I already know myself to be.

I've started looking for a job in town. My 18th birthday looms close and the results from my homeschooling course are due to arrive any day now. I'm pretty sure I'll have to retake physics- much to my father's dismay. Oh well, you can't please everyone all the time.

Giving up any hope of being productive today I had left home about an hour ago to simply wander through the windy streets. Losing track of time is easy when you have no purpose. The dazed feeling replaced the dull feeling after a few nights of crying into my pillow. It's like the world is a copy of a copy. But that's ok.

Looking up I see I'm in the park. Trust me to subconsciously come to the old battlefield. The grey sky gives the area a desolate feel. None of the gang is here. I suppose it's to be expected this time of year, we'll probably send out a mass text with information as to who's turn it is to host us all this winter. I walk on. My feet have brought me here thus far, but now my mind has kicked in and I realise that all I want is the solace of sitting under the tree. 

Honestly, I don't want to give you the wrong idea, I'm not as pathetic as Bella when she mooned over Edwards loss, but then again I'm not exactly mirroring Ginny's courageous attitude when Harry goes gallivanting across the world. I'm more... bored. It's as if nothing holds the same level of amusement that it used to. Chick flicks still make me smile, a good joke makes me smile or even laugh, but not in the same way that I used to, it's as if the pleasure I gain from each good thing in my life has been diminished. I don't smile for as long as I used to after seeing a happy ending, I just smile when the happy ending occurs then move on when the credits roll. It's so weird that it's even freaking me out.

Then I see legs poking out from behind the tree. Shit. Again? Really? Could Mike not leave me the hell alone for just a minute? Part of me knows I'm not being rational- I haven't seen Mike since the disagreement weeks ago- he's left me alone for ages, but that doesn't do anything to stem the instant flow of anger that flushes through my system.

I'm not wimping out this time like I did last time. He's leaving soon, I'll never see him again- a little fact that my brain and heart is at war over about what my predominant feeling is: enormous relief or overwhelming horror. What did I have left to lose? My good name? My temper? My self respect? Too late, as far as Mike's concerned that was all shot to hell back when he started dating Lily.

Moving silently over the mushy dead leaves I reveal myself to Mike and sit down, back against the tree, a gap between where he's sitting and where I'm sitting. It's only a small gap but it feels like the world.

"Been a while since I saw you here last. Don't you come here anymore?" He says softly, his tone is subdued.

"I do. All the time. I thought it was you that had forgotten this place." I reply, biting my tongue, unsure whether to go on or not. I've been completely taken off guard by his non-jerkishness. Do I potentially ruin this moment? 

"Yeah. I mean no, of course I haven't forgotten this place. How could I?" Mike's gentle tone is more vulnerable than I've ever heard it in a long time.