Dear Diary,
I don't like writing often, even though this is my diary and it can't respond; I feel as if I'm still a bother... How the hell is that even possible? I guess when you're unemotionally stable even breathing feels like you're irritating.
If I did a quick recap of what has happened in the past month it would be pretty sad and pathetic, really all that happened is that I laid on the carpet of my hallway and questioned why I even try anymore.
I have high hopes that my future will be better but it's my lows that make the high hopes die down. The way I think about this is that it's like the rising of a roller coaster; really slow and once you reach the peak it zooms down at an alarming pace. I am the cart and life is the tracks, I get at a good point then it all crumbles and I scream to give up and get off.
The way I see my self-harming problem is I'm testing my courage with actually give up or in other words, a dance with death. Honestly, I believe one day I will brave enough to do more than just a dance.
Even though this is just pages I don't want to bug anyone with my complaining... for now, this is goodbye I guess, why is there a good in goodbye, nothing is good about saying bye because that means forgetting... I hope I don forget... but I guess goodbye when it's to someone like me it is good because I'm terrible and anyone would be happy to say bye to me...
[Dan Howell]
a/n~ its been a while and I missed writing so much, let me know what you think about this chapter! it depressing but I promise it will get happier as it goes on as all phanfics do! this has been in editing for a month bc I was feeling terrible about my writing but I guess some people enjoy or will enjoy reading it. goodbye everyone, love ya!
YOU ARE READING
Dear Diary
Fanfiction[trigger warning] June 3rd, 3:43 Am, 2009 Dear Diary, I don't know why I'm returning here, relying on thin pages to solve my problem; but here I am anyways. It won't fix my i...