rejection ➸ fillie

are you gonna kiss me or not?

i sat atop of my roof and just thought. something normal i would do quite often, though not as often as i used to. i would come up here just thinking of certain scenarios, or just to think in general. i've been coming up here for a couple years, since we moved here. i learned how to when i was going through my 'climbing phase' when i was twelve. god, i would climb everything, it used to scare the shit out of my mom.

today was different. though i did have a lot of thoughts going on in my head, i just kinda stared at things and just spaced out. it was getting dark, i don't know how long i had been up there; i wasn't planning on getting down either. the only time i got down was so i could just turn on my pool light, so i wouldn't be in the complete dark, but it was not very bright. it did give you something to look at though.

i haven't spoken to millie, or even sadie in a couple days; not a full week but a couple of days. i have seen them around, yes. we would smile or wave when we saw each other somewhere but we haven't talked. it's not like we would constantly be attached to their hips but noah and i would hang out with them quite often, but they did have other friends and so did we. i don't know, i just miss them i guess. millie especially. i just can't help but think our "distance" from each other i guess you could say was because of me. i mean, i wasn't exactly the best at hiding how i felt the other day when she told me how she felt about our little moment. maybe she thinks i'm such a fucking loser for thinking that there could be something between us.

i don't know, maybe i'm just overreacting. it's not like we haven't spoken in months or anything, it's only been like three, four days. damn it's onl—

my thoughts were cut off when i heard a car door close. my eyebrows furrow and i climb up to look over to the front of my house. i see someone bending down and looking into a window and talking to somebody. when they turn around i nearly pissed myself.

"shit," i my eyes widen and i turn back quickly, which caused me to slip a little. i wasn't gonna fall off my roof or anything, but it did scare me, "fuck."

"oh! hi mrs. wolfhard, i'm a friend of finns. i'm millie." i hear millie's british accent talk to..."oh hello millie, sorry finn didn't tell me he was having friends over." my mother.

"oh yeah, i tried to text him i was going to come, but i'm not sure if he has his phone on him. is he home?" she asked. "oh yes he is, he's out in the back. he's been back there for awhile."

my heart was racing hastily. what the hell was she doing here? she's by herself. is sadie gonna come soon? was sadie the person in the car? no, sadie can't drive, she can barely ride a bike. shit, what does she want?

"finn?"

fuck

"uh," i shift, "up here." i say loudly. i feel as if my voice is gonna break because of how nervous i was, or i was gonna shit myself or something i don't know. "how the hell did you get up there?" she asked.

"do you uh, want me to show you?—" i say something else quickly after, "or-or i could just get down." i say not only quickly but nervously. jesus christ i sound so nervous, i have to calm down before she notices, if she hasn't already. "no, i'll come up, wolfhard. just show me." she says.

"okay. well come over to this brick wall over here, and then go up on the trash can, then on top of the wall and i'll pull you up." i say, as i wipe my hands, because i was about to pull her up and i didn't want my hands to be sweaty obviously.