What was Lost

"I'm In"

I sat back down to finish my Mac, and felt really bad. Here I was, getting horny when another guy that was not my mate merely brushed me with his hand. Would my mates even want someone like me back? Someone who obviously couldn't keep her desire to herself.

For a long while I sat there, eating my food and hating my body for reacting to Castiel. Yes, he was gorgeous, but I had my own mates, and I wanted them back. He was simply not part of the equation.

I finished and got up to wash my dishes, then made my way into the corridors, trying to remember the way to the library. The corridors were confusing and I got lost a lot, and found a lot of rooms in the tower. Eventually, I found myself in front of the library.

I stood outside the room, nervous at having to speak to him when I heard the whispers from inside the room. Curious, I quietly walked inside to see Castiel and Rene leaning into each other and whispering intimately. They jerked apart when they saw me, as if they had been doing something worth hiding, and I felt a twinge of jealousy attack me. Who exactly was Rene to Castiel?

Castiel cleared his throat, and Rene looked at me with what seemed to be pity. Understanding dawned, Castiel had filled her in about my mate status, and she now felt sorry for me. Before I could tell her where to stick her pity, Castiel spoke while showing me the book that was in his hands.

"We found it. How to reconnect the bond. It says here that someone could use blood magic to alter a mate bond, and I believe that this is what happened to you. It also states how to reconnect your bond, but the process is somewhat...difficult," he stopped speaking and Rene carried on for him.

Like old friends, or lovers would, I thought bitterly, then took a double take. Where had that come from?

"To fix the bond, you must travel back in time to a previous life. However, as your bond is cut, your mates have been taken from you in every reincarnation. You have to go back to your first incarnation and mend it. But that's where the trouble is. You see, to connect your bonds, you need to have sex with your previous mates. Once the physical connection is re-affirmed, your souls will willingly open up to one another. You are mates. Always will be. Stacy has not taken them from you, merely messed with your bond. Once the physical aspect has been take care of, you will need a spell to go into the soul-thread realm."

"The soul thread realm?" I questioned, but even as I said it, I realised what it was. The shadowy, black and white world of my nightmare where I had seen the cut threads. The same dream I woke from to find that my mates were no longer mine.

"Yes. The place where the connections between soul-mates are seen. You already know that Were's have mates. But they are not the only ones. Every creature, be it supernatural or common have mates." She had bit out the word common, a degratory term for human.

"There you have to find, and reattach your strings. The trouble is, your mates will not see you as their mate, and they will most likely be with this Stacy girl so they won't want you," she paused, letting the information sink in.

Castiel spoke again.

"Also, I'm afraid, the book says they have to be willing to have sex with you. Not necessarily love you, but be willing, so you cannot use a spell to make them," he paused and coughed awkwardly, "lay with you. You will have to find another way".

I stood there, mouth gaping, staring at the two of them. How on earth was I going to get them to have sex with me? Would it even work? How was I meant to go back in time?

Millions of questions flew by, but none registered. A thick knot of dread found its place in my gut. But as I thought about the alternative-permanently losing my mates-I decided that the best thing for me to do was to go through with it. If I succeeded, I would have my mates, if I didn't, I would surely kill myself instead of live in a world where they loved Stacy.

My resolution straightened my spine and sharpened my gaze.

"I'm in".

Castiel looked at me, really looked at me then stood up.

"Good," he replied, "now come with me. We have a lot to do".