What was Lost

Baxter

The day after, Castiel was nowhere to be seen. I asked Rene if she knew where he was but she just avoided the question completely. That whole day, my emotions were in a mess. I was worried for him, confused about what had happened, and disgusted with myself for not drawing the line. I realised that I must have been leading him on somehow, and that was why he acted how he did.

Thankfully, I could put my worry to rest as the day after, he reappeared as if nothing had happened. He had also brought with him some virgin blood, which he refused to explain how he obtained, and the remaining ingredients required for the potion. It was a good thing too, as we only had three days before the full moon, and I wasn't planning to miss this one.

The next three days went as usually, the only difference being that Castiel was completely closed off. He wouldn't look me in the eye, he wouldn't speak to me more than he had to, never joke around with me, or share more of his past with me as he had been doing, and most of all, he wouldn't touch me.

Even when we were training together, he went out of his way to ensure that we never touched. He focused on sword fighting, which meant that he didn't have to be near me, but could still keep his promise to teach me.

It was lonely, those three days when he kept his distance. I had never gotten so close to anyone in my life except Chiron and my mates.

Thinking about it made tears form in my eyes. Anyone I got close with usually got hurt, or left me. All the people I had cared for over the years were either dead, or in pain because of me. Chiron was dead, my mates had been taken from me, and Castiel was staying the hell away as well.

It made me wonder if I should even try to get my mates back. There was a part of me that admitted that they would probably be better off, and happier with Stacy.

The only thing that stopped me from giving up was my wolf. She brought out the selfish side of me. No. I would do this, and get my mates back. They were mine. Not Stacy's. Mine.

....................................

It was finally here. The Full Moon. Quite frankly I didn't know if I should feel excited, nervous or scared, so I settled on a bit of each. This was it. All that preparation would finally come into use.

It was a quarter to midnight and I was getting all my stuff together. We had agreed that all I would take with me was a duffel bag filled with various things I might need. As for my clothes, well, the potion could drop me off anywhere in my reincarnation timeline, so we decided that I should just wear clothes from the present till I could swap them for local clothes.

Right now I was wearing camouflage pants, a black tank top and steeled tipped boots, all of which gave me good flexibility. On my back was a beautifully crafted gold sheath which held an equally beautiful katana, my weapon of choice. The book didn't specify where I was going to end up, and it was always better to be safe than sorry.

My sword, who I lovingly called Baxter because he was always on my back, would ensure that I was a force to be reckoned with. Out of all the things Castiel had taught me, I excelled the most in swordsmanship.

I chuckled as I remembered the look on Rene's face when I told her the name. She was livid. She had ranted for an hour to me about how the sword was practically a relic, and must be revered as such. Not called 'Baxter'. She also told me that the sword was enchanted, which meant it drew power from the blood of the person or creature it cut, and its blade would never dull.

Apparently, before giving it to me Castiel had upgraded it, strengthening its enchantments, and made it so that only I could wield it, ensuring that no one could use it against me in a fight. Getting it also hadn't been an easy task, she told me. Ever since I had told Castiel that I liked the katana the best, he had spent countless hours tracking down and acquiring the best katana around.

That katana was currently sitting snugly on my back, and had set back Castiel about six million to buy from a weapons collector who had no idea of the things magical worth which would have tripled its cost, had they been known.

As far as gift's go, the sword was undoubtedly the most expensive thing I had ever been given. But the really shocking thing was how Castiel had given it to me. He brought it out after an especially hard combat lesson, and told me he just had it lying around, and that it would do better in my hands.

Yeah, he had a six million dollar relic 'lying around'.

Liar.

I didn't know what to think about the whole situation, but my wolf for some reason was immensely pleased at him giving us a present.

I was flabbergasted-for lack of a better word-at the fact that he would go that far for me, and that my wolf was way more pleased than she should have been.

She had practically purred in happiness. I was planning on confronting him about it, but then the 'incident happened' and we stopped talking.

Shoving the thoughts of the gift to the back of my mind, like I did with most of my thoughts that were to do with Castiel, I made my way outside of the tower.

Outside, Rene and Castiel were sitting together on a log, quietly talking to each other in front of a massive fire they had built. As I drew closer, their heads snapped apart and they stopped talking. I faltered in my next step, then fixed myself and continued walking towards them with a frown on my face. I had thought that we were closer now. I guess I was wrong.

Rene stood up and presented me with a small vial of thick purple liquid. Pushing it into my hand, she leaned forward to whisper into my ear.

"Good Luck," she squeezed my hand and the let go, moving back.

I turned to Castiel, and for the first time in the last few days, we made eye contact. His beautiful amber eyes had darkened and were full of pain, and he looked like he was about to cry.

Pushing back the rogue image of me licking away any tears that fell from his eyes, I offered him a weak smile.

Suddenly, his eyes were blazing and he shot up and grabbed my wrist.

"I'm coming with you," he bit out forcefully.

"I don't think that's a good idea," I told him, which only caused his grip on my wrist to tighten. He growled, a fierce growl that coming from a witch was extremely impressive.

"You can't do that to me. You can't expect me to just stay behind and 'hope' you are okay. I need to be there to protect you. I have too. Besides, you can't make me stay".

He let go of my wrist and reached inside the trench coat he was wearing to retrieve a small vial identical to the one in my hand. I didn't say anything. I couldn't do anything, not really, not when it was because of him that all this was possible.

Rene who was silent the entire time, finally spoke.

"Are you sure, Cas?"

"Yes"

"Then do what you have to do".

This time addressing both of us she said in a cheerful voice

"Well go on then! But don't make me wait too long, 'Kay?".

I grinned at her.

"You know me, can't make any promises".

Castiel wrapped his arm around my waist.

"Don't worry, we will," he told her, and in response to the look I was giving him, said "I have to touch you to end up where you end up".

"oh," was my great response.

"Well then, I guess this is it. Bottoms up," I lifted the vial in the air in salute and then downed the disgusting drink as if it were a shot.

For a long second as I stared at Castiel, nothing happened.

Then his face melted.

And we were floating.