REPLAY | anime one shots

don't you mind? [3/12]

i gave you something you can never give back.

he visits her. he knows that she is alive since he is the one that created the lie about her sudden suicide, but if she's being honest, seeing him is the last thing she wants. "why are you here?"

"i... i want to persuade you," he says, and he has such a determined look in his turquoise eyes that she almost wants to hear him out.

"no," she says, ruining his small sliver of hope with only one word. she won't be fooled by him again. he obviously didn't believe in what she does or support it.

"you know that i hate lying to them," he says with a pained look. "especially yoosung. he didn't deserve this."

"there's nothing i can do. you're the one that lied." she isn't wrong, but he believes that she shouldn't have left in the first place. he felt that telling that small lie would hurt less than the truth: that she abandoned them and wasn't looking back; that she was a criminal, manipulating people with a toxic elixir; that she was playing god.

"please," he says, and she can hear the desperation in his voice. "come back. we all miss you dearly."

"you don't give to shits about me!" she exclaims, calling him out on his lie. her mood quickly changed from seemingly calm to utter annoyance and frustration. if he truly loved her, then wouldn't he have stayed by her side?

"rika." he sounds serious, and his tone catches her by surprise, but other than that, she doesn't let it effect her or sway her emotions. "you know exactly how i feel about you."

"you wouldn't have betrayed me like that—"

"betrayed? is that what you think?" he asks, and he isn't laughing at her; he is hurt. her seeing him in that way pains his heart because it couldn't be farther from the truth. "rika... i love you more than words can describe. don't you understand?"

"if you loved me, then—"

rika doubting his love for her is one thing he can't accept. why can't she see that she is the literal sun to him? that she will always have his heart no matter what she does? or, at least, love is what he believes he feels.

"that's not how love works. i would do anything for you, but even love can't blind me enough to be okay with what you're doing here."

sadly, his words didn't get to her. "if you truly loved me, then you should have been supporting me and my cause. a method that works! take a look around you, v! everyone is happy."

"this is not happiness."

"you just can't accept that i'm making a difference in these people's lives—a positive difference," she says, glaring at the selfless man. he is trying his best to show her and help her, but she just isn't taking it.

"you're brainwashing these poor people!" he says with disbelief. does she really not see the wrong in what she is doing?

"i'm curing them," she retorts, defending herself. he can't watch the person he loves the most wash her morals and sanity down the drain. it's too much for him, but he desperately wants to help. though, she won't let him come near her physically or emotionally.

"this isn't healing. you're taking away their will to live, their freedom, their own way of thinking! please, open your eyes and see what you're doing, my love, because this—this isn't right."

"don't you dare. don't you dare, v," she warns. "you are not allowed to look down on me like this. or call me your love."

"i'm not looking down on you, but can't you tell right from wrong anymore? you can't just control these people and their feelings like—"

"get out," she interrupts, fed up with the judging accusations he is throwing at her. all he's doing is saying the truth, and she obviously can't handle it.

"rika—" he tries to calm her, but this just irritates her more. her small hands are bundled into fists, five seconds away from punching the poor guy who only wants to help.

"get out!"

she only sees him two more times after this.

–

her heart hurts. it has been three months, and she's still hurting, mourning over the love of her life's death. the same scene passes through her mind over and over, and she has had enough of it. can't she get a break?

she realizes how in those final moments, she never got to tell him that he will always have her heart too. he had always said that his heart was hers. his love for her was unwavering.

she doesn't think too much about this though because in her eyes, she thinks that she has proven her love for him pretty clearly even without directly stating it. and to her, he did nothing in return. all he did was judge her and pity her, trying to eliminate her darkness, wanting to change her.

that doesn't stop her from missing him.

"how are you today, rika?"

she refuses to talk to the therapist who visits all the patients in the institution. they come to her, sure, but she doesn't say a word to them no matter how hard they try to get something out of her.

she believes that she is being held here against her will for an illness that she doesn't have. without her beloved or her followers, rika now knows what it's like to truly feel alone.

all she does in this hellhole is stare into nothingness, pitying herself.