i was beyond confused, ethan had never mentioned a lina to me before.
ethan sighed, and motioned to the tall blond. "this is angelina, i've told you about her before."
i really didn't remember him ever telling me about her. i still had no idea who she was.
angelina pinched ethan's cheek, and cooed. "aw, you still talk about me?"
if i wasn't so well behaved, i would have been swinging at her by now.
ethan moved her hand away, and gave her a look. "yeah, i still talk about you. none of the things i say are ever good though, just so you know."
he turned to face me, and put his mouth near my ear. "she's the ex that i used to talk about in group."
i was starting to piece everything together.
for a certain amount of time in group therapy, ethan would talk about trying his hardest to avoid an obsessive ex that he had.
i didn't think too much of it at first, but one day, he made a shocking statement.
"she liked me the best i was in pain. that's just how she expressed her so called 'love' for me."
at the time, i didn't know ethan too well, but i still felt terrible for him. he didn't deserve to go through anything like that, and i wasn't about to let it happen again.
i could feel my blood boiling, but i was trying my hardest to keep it cool.
grayson walked over to where ethan and i were, and took a seat. i could see angry tears lining the corners of his eyes.
"why the fuck did you bring lina, tammi?" grayson sighed, and gave tammi a harsh look.
my thoughts exactly.
i noticed that ethan was starting to shake.
i took his hand, and rested my head on his chest. "it's okay, eth," i whispered. "i'm not going to let her hurt or intimidate you. that's not happening."
he didn't say anything, but he kissed the top of my head and wrapped his arms around me.
i had never seen him like this before, he was absolutely terrified.
tammi shrugged. "she's one of my friends, maybe if you payed attention to me, then you would have known. anyways, lina wanted to come say hi to ethan."
grayson shook his head, and sighed. "she's not allowed to do that, tammi. you need to get her out of her, i'm not kidding."
i felt so bad for eth, it was really fucked up of tammi to put him in this kind of situation. i'm sure that she knew he had just gotten back from rehab, which makes this situation at least ten times worse. i couldn't even imagine the levels of stress that he was under right now.
tammi rolled her eyes. "grayson, we'll leave in a minute. i just came here to tell you that i'm not having the baby."
grayson shrugged. "that's your decision, tammi. i have no right to tell you what to do with your body, and besides... i'm not even the father of that baby."
i put my mouth near ethan's ear. "is it just me, or does it seem like they're both being passive aggressive?"
he nodded, and knitted his brows together. "no, no, i was thinking the exact same thing."
lina yawned loudly, causing us all to look at each other. "what? i'm super fucking bored, everybody's leaving me out–"
tammi snapped her fingers, like an irritated mom. "shut up, lina. i'm trying to have a conversation. actually, i'm not even sure if it's a conversation. grayson literally will not stop staring at masen."
everybody was silent.
ethan pulled me closer to him, and kissed my cheek.
was he marking his territory?
grayson ran a hand through his hair. "i'm not looking at masen, okay? i'm listening."
tammi laughed bitterly. "i keep going through the same thing. i felt weird, being in a relationship with you. you're completely obsessed with masen, just like holden. am i just the girl that guys go to, after masen rejects them?"
i groaned, and rested my head on ethan's chest. "i think that you're reading too much into the grayson situation, sometimes people just aren't going to like you. on the other hand, what holden did to you was wrong. he shouldn't have played with your feelings."
tammi was silent for a moment. "do you have any idea what this feels like?"
my tank top had risen up on the bottom, and ethan noticed. he placed his hands on my stomach, and kept them there.
i had to admit, jealous ethan was really cute.
"sorry, did you say something?" i didn't mean for it to come out rudely, but that's what happened.
my bad.
she took a deep breath. "i said... do you have any idea what this feels like?"
i tightened my ponytail, and tilted my head.
before i could answer, she chimed in again. "you don't, i just know you don't. you've probably never even had your heart broken. you're just so perfect, aren't you? i fucking know that i'll never be able to compete with you, and that's what hurts the most."
ethan rubbed my stomach. "what exactly are you trying to say, tammi? if you're upset about holden's death, just say so. there's no reason to come into our house any cause unnecessary drama."
she shook her head. "you don't fucking understand. holden was fucking obsessed with masen. he snorted so much coke all the time, and he really started to believe that he was in a relationship with masen. he was never in a relationship with her, he was in a relationship with ME. he never even wanted me to be myself, he wanted me to be you. the thing with grayson, is that he obviously likes your girlfriend. i've seen the way he looks at her, i think we all have–"
i got up, and pulled down my tank top. "honestly, tammi? if you hadn't come here and thrown a tantrum, then i would have been able to help you. maybe grayson would have been able to help too, but not anymore. it's not my fault that you're insecure. it's really unfortunate. you're so beautiful on the outside, but not on the inside. do yourself a favor, and work on it. hopefully, you'll respect yourself a little more, one day."
tammi and left without saying a word. lina had placed a page of folded notebook paper on the floor, and didn't look back.
i picked up the paper, and examined it.
i never should have opened it.
i was fighting back tears, i was really hoping that tammi was just bluffing... but she wasn't.
it was holden's note.
**
a/n: WHO WANTS TO FIGHT TAMMI BECAUSE ME TOO
p.s. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR 1K READS OH MY GOOOOOD
