Jungkook's Heart - Taekook

nine.

They silently watched as the twilight got darker and darker until the sky turned completely pitch black. They were sitting on the middle of the pier now. Jungkook sitting between Taehyung's legs, Taehyung backhugging him as before. They had hardly spoken any words, but there was not a hint of awkwardness. The acknowledged silence was just right.

"What do we do now?", Jungkook whispered hesitantly, after a really long time of just sitting there in that perfect position.

"Whatever you want."

Jungkook slowly slid out of Taehyung's lap and sat next to him. Then he lay down backwards and pulled Taehyung down next to him, hugging and holding onto him. Although he had spent most of his day sleeping, he started to feel really tired again because of the immense emotional stress he went through, combined with the alcohol which was making him really drowsy.

"In that case... I'm really tired. Let's sleep."

"It's not comfy here, Jungie," Tae said softly, stroking the younger's hair. I'll take you back home."

Jungkook whined softly in protest, burying his head further into Taehyung's shoulder.

"You're really comfy for me TaeTae," he whispered sleepily, smiling cheekily but drowsily.

"Jungkook, come on, let's not fall asleep here again. Come on, I'll getcha back home" Tae said, helping Jungkook to his feet lovingly, supporting his weight by putting Jungkook's arm around his own shoulder. He contemplated walking him back home; it should be close by, but considering Jungkook's state, and the time of night, he thought it best to just go by taxi.

After telling his home address, Jungkook fell asleep on the older's shoulder. Taehyung tried to wake him up when they arrived, but no luck. He payed the driver, then managed to pull him out of the taxi, but it was a real struggle to get Jungkook into the elevator, walk to his door, find the keys, open the door, get to his room, and lay him on his bed.

He sat on the side of the bed, staring at Jungkook's face by the light of the bedside lamp for a while. He realized, as he stared deep in thought, how much of a stranger this boy was to him. He also realized, that despite that, how extremely close he had felt to him from the moment he had set foot into that coffee shop. He had never ever believed in love at first sight and always believed it was romance-novel-bullshit, but if he had to guess, what he himself had gone through was pretty close to exactly that: love at first sight.

He stared more. How much pain that handsome face had gone through. How much pain that face put him through.

What was worse, was that even after tonight he wasn't sure what would happen. Last time at the pier had been similar, Jungkook was pretty open to him, he'd even kissed him for goodness sake! But the next morning, his face was full of the worst combination of horror, dread and disgust. And the only times they'd been able to talk comfortably, he'd been somewhat drunk. 

But that morning after... Taehyung didn't know how he could cope with something like that again. Those eyes.. That coldness had completely destroyed him. He didn't think he'd be able to survive such a thing again. He wasn't strong enough to bear that much pain. He knew he couldn't get his hopes up for this time, because the likelihood of history repeating itself was too great. That amount of unacceptance and self-hate he saw in Jungkook was not something anyone could move on from overnight, (or even four weeks), but he actually couldn't physically stop the tsunami of hope that was building up inside of him. His heart was filled with wonderful scenarious of What Ifs, and he imagined that maybe they'd actually get to be together.

Because when it came to Jungkook... He could do nothing but follow him like a lovesick puppy. He couldn't stay away, he couldn't protect himself when it came to him. No logic or reason could exist when it was about him.

After gazing thoughtfully at Jungkook a bit more, he decided to head home. He slowly switched off the bedside lamp, kissed Jungkook's forehead goodnight, then stood, walking out of the room as quietly as he could. Just as he was almost out of the room, a sleepy voice called out to him from behind, surprising him:

"Don't go TaeTae.

Don't leave me."