The Greatest Abomination

Aftermath

In the time after my mom found out, things were strangely back to normal. She didn't really bring it up, but instead we went on like it never happened. Like it was all just some nightmare that had occurred. She wasn't mad at me. She continued to treat me like she did before. It felt like she was dealing with the problem by avoiding it instead of facing it. My dad never came to discuss anything with me. I guess he didn't really A) care much or B) didn't take it seriously. I couldn't really know due to my dad's distant personality. I thought about what she said about going to therapy so I knew it was imminent but for whatever reason it didn't seem like a priority to them. We just went on in our lives like we always had.

                This feeling of peace disintegrated one night when I came home from Black Friday shopping with Mindy and Melanie. It had been a fun night, after my confrontation with my parents I was dying to get out and enjoy myself with friends. We ate, shopped, and just messed around. It was nice to get out and feel happy for a bit. During our day, we had walked into some store where Mindy playfully sprayed my hand with some perfume. And let me tell you, that innocent little prank would soon be like hell freezing over once I got back home.

                It started when I got home and I got a reluctant look after my mom noticing I had bought a pair of pants. She had told me the day before that she didn't want me to buy anything, that I didn't really need anything, that the Black Friday deals weren't all that worth it, and that there would be other opportunities. Mind you, this was my money. So apparently I was supposed to just go out and window shop, makes sense. Anyway, I got a nice pair of pants for like $15, it was a good deal and my money so I figured it wouldn't matter. It's not like I was blowing a college tuition.

                Then, when she walked by me and smelled some perfume on my hand all hell broke loose.

“Andrew, are you wearing girl perfume now?”

“What..? Oh, no. Mindy just sprayed it as a joke, it doesn't mean anything.”

She went batshit crazy.

“Those girls again – you see. I knew they were a bad influence. Look at these pants. I specifically told you not to buy anything and you went off and got them anyway. It was them, wasn't it? They were the ones that convinced you to buy them when I told you that you don't even need anything right now. Now they've got you wearing perfume?! You're like their little puppy, following them around and taking their orders. Their “gay BFF”. God! What's next? Wearing eyeliner and make up? This isn't you Andrew! Stop being influenced by them!”

                This was the first time I had hung out with Mindy and Melanie since she found my Twitter. It's clear she holds them responsible and has no regret to voice her opinions. With the initial shock of finding out I was gay over, it was time to respond to this ignorance. This time I wouldn't lose my voice or hold back my feelings.

                “Jesus Christ, Mom. Do you know what you sound like right now? It was just a harmless joke, we were messing around, that's it! I'm gay because I like boys, not because they made me think that way. They accept me, and I don't see that as a problem. Would you rather see me being constantly bullied by homophobic people? Would you rather me grow up, marry a woman and depress myself? I think you're choosing to blind yourself to what I am, and it won't do any of us any good.”

“No, no. You aren't like this. I told you, you're just confused and lost. You've gotten involved in these silly little ideas and now you think it's going to be this way forever. You need to open yourself up. You can't shut yourself down like this. Give yourself the chance to connect with girls, don't credit yourself as being something that you're not.”