My Immortal - Immortalfox fanfiction boyxboy

Chapter Three

1 Month Later

I've tried to commit suicide three times since then. On the second try, I left a suicide note for Aleks and everything but I, in simplest terms, pussied out. The other two times Aleks stopped me. I'm not sure if I can actually go through with a suicide, the second time I tried I could've but I got to emotional over the note and I hid it the next day.

It confessed my love for Aleks, which makes everything worse. How can I still love him. He's a terrible person yet I can't help but look at him sometimes and think he is still the same old Aleks, the one I love. He always looks frustrated when I turn him down in doing something, but he hasn't forced me to do anything except be here with him.

And he hasn't given up on me. The thought of how patience and loving he's been with me fills my heart but I try to push that down because I refuse to be with him. I can't be with a monster, a murderer. I owe that much to my friends, right?

Just now, Aleks enters my room. His hair is damp and he's shirtless like he just came out of the shower. He's staring at me as I look over his body, not helping but enjoying his looks. He's so hot, and on Aleks' face he wears a smirk like he found my weakness.

Damn him.

"Get out Aleks, please." I try to beg. I have no energy to fight with him. I don't want to, but I will if I have to. I won't talk to him I'll just confess my feelings for him and I don't want to leave myself exposed. Right now I love him so much it hurts knowing his past actions keeps me wary of him, and at times scared of him. 

"Eddie, please I just want to talk to you, or even play a video game with you? Like we used to?" Aleks counter pleas with him and I would love to say yes, but I can't.

"No Aleks, just stop trying you are a murderer I don't want to be anywhere near you. Don't you get it?"

"I will always keep trying with you, Eddie. Don't you get that? I love you, and I won't give up on that. I think you love me as well, you don't hide it very well."

I freeze and my face turns red as I begin to blush, only making it obvious I do, in fact, have feelings for him. "Get out Aleks! You are insane just get out!" I say to him, trying not to cry. I've been so emotional forever now, and it makes me feel so weak.

Aleks didn't go away, though, instead he walks closer to me. All I do, in a pathetic attempt at protesting, is back up against my bed as he stops in front of me. 

He leans down and looks at me eye level. I try to look away, but he grabs me by the chin and forces me to keep looking at him. I keep expecting him to get to the point, to say something. Instead he does something entirely different, something unexpected that I have dreaded for ever now.

He kisses me. A soft kiss on my lips in which I let out an involuntary moan, like I had been waiting for this moment ever since I even met Aleks. Their is just to much chemistry between us. However, I abstain from kissing him back and I don't give him the pleasure of hearing me moan twice.

Aleks pulls away after a few seconds and kept holding my chin, forcing me to continue looking at him. "Now please tell me that you don't have feelings for me as well? That you don't love me."

I slowly let the feelings of love dissolve from me and I force myself to remember Aleks' actions. Aleks killed my friends and kidnapped me. He's a monster. I have to remind myself with that. I let the emotion of anger take me over and I look at Aleks harshly as I say, "I don't love you. I couldn't possibly love a monster like you. You are insane Aleks and I would like it if you could just get the fuck away from me."

A look of disappointment crosses over Aleks' face, a look that made my heart nearly break and almost made me say sorry and take everything I just said back. Almost. Instead I let him leave again and once again I am left alone in my room. 

Later that day I choose to go outside on the island and sit near the beach in the sand. It is nice outside, and I haven't really appreciated the ocean that much even though I would normally enjoy being here. I'm not wearing any shoes and I let my toes dig into the sand in comfort at the warmness of it. 

I lay down and close my eyes, letting all my worries dissolve and with all my problems shoved out of my thoughts I actually feel more at peace, even if it will just be for this short while. I let the stun warm me up as I grow more drowsy and eventually fall asleep in the sand, and for the first time in awhile I sleep dreamless with no nightmares. 

When I wake up, I'm snuggled against something, which I don't really think about. All I do is yawn a bit and keep my eyes shut. The sun is still out, and I'm enjoying my nap outside since I haven't gotten much sunlight in awhile. Then the thing under me shifts and I slowly open my eyes, adjusting them to the harsh light.

When I look to see what exactly I was sleeping on, even though it should've been obvious to me, I noticed the brown hair and pale skin and I immediately leap up, "What the fuck Aleks?" I ask, furious. 

"I laid down next to you and you cuddled into me. I didn't do anything but lay down next to you, is that such a crime?" Aleks said smugly as he sat up from a laying down position.

"I already told you I don't want you anywhere near me." I say stubbornly, I'm still angry but my anger shifts to being angry at him to being mad at me. What the hell is my problem, how can I not stay away from him? Apparently even when I'm not conscious I want to be near him.

I hate how much I'm drawn towards him, how I still have daydreams about making out with him. 

"I'm just saying, you are the one who went to me, who pressed themselves into me. I don't think you hate me as much as you say." Aleks points out. He's absolutely correct, it takes all of myself to remember Aleks' crimes and hate him, but even then I still have those treacherous love feelings.

"Then you don't know me at all, Aleks. You should've known how much I cared for them." I reply back, trying to keep my voice neutral.

"I did it for us, they were a distraction. They are gone now, just focus on me. Love me," He said, his voice and actions more sounding pleading than anything else.

I wish I could cave in without feeling like trash for it. However, I remember my friends and don't dare to confess anything to him as I walk back to the house without another word, appalled by his jealousy.