My Immortal - Immortalfox fanfiction boyxboy

Chapter Four

I look around the office, there is blood everywhere but no dead bodies. It intermediates me as I walk around cautiously. It is dark, but no matter what I can't get the lights on. There are slight scuffling sounds going on like someone is here, but I don't see anyone and that scares me. 

I walk several different rooms, but see nothing. All the while I hold my breath, anticipating something to happen yet it never comes. Finally, I walk into Seamus' room and I see him. He's alive and breathing. 

I let out a sigh of relief, "Seamus!" I cry out, his back is turned to me and I my voice begs him to turn around so I can see the face of my friend once again. However, when he turns around I wince in regret and pity. He has blood on the front of his shirt where it looks like he got shot. 

"Hello Eddie," He says coldly, "Do you know who did this to me?" He asked.

Of course, I know the answer but something about the way he said it makes me wary and it makes me feel bad like this was my fault. Maybe this was my fault, if I had just told Aleks my feelings sooner this wouldn't have happened.

"Aleks did this," Seamus continues since I never answered him, "He shot me, he killed all of us, your friends. And now what are you doing with him? You are still in love with him and still dream about kissing him. What the fuck is your problem Eddie?"

I start to cry, somewhere deep in my subconscious I know this is a dream. Seamus is dead he can't be standing here. "Please, I'm sorry I don't mean to. I don't know what is wrong with me I don't know."

"I don't think you are sorry, not as long as you love that monster I'm not sure you'll ever actually feel sorry for us. Did you even care for us? You are just as bad as he is, Eddie. You both are insane."

I press against the wall, feeling trapped like everything is closing against me and I sob more as I slowly begin to sit down. Seamus looms over me, and I feel threatened by him, but by now the room feels so tiny and now there is no door and their is no where to go I think I might die when-

I wake up, gasping for air feeling extremely claustrophobic and my face feels wet. Yes, my crying has carried over from the dream world into reality and much like the dream I cannot make my crying stop or be quiet even though I want it to.

My crying alerts Aleks towards my room, just like I feared it would, and he quickly sweeps in and sits next to me on the bed. He puts his arm around me and I just lean into him and cry more. I bury my face into his shoulder and stopped my feeble attempts to quit crying and just let it happen.

Some part of my mind realized this was wrong, to be once again pressed this close to Aleks. That was what my nightmare was about, it was about being with Aleks and I don't want to be a monster like him but I can't help him. I'm so weak right now, and he loves me and cares for me I know this and I can't resist him in this state. I want to feel his strong arm around me, and its fucked up to know he murdered my friends yet him being next to me makes me feel so protected and safe.

Coming to reality I slowly realize I've stopped crying and I'm just cuddled up into Aleks, letting him stroke my hair and comfort me as he whispers encouraging things into my ear. I tune into what he's saying, "It's okay Eddie. What happened? What's wrong? You can tell me."

I pause, wondering if I should even talk to him. I probably shouldn't. I should yell at him and tell him to get away, but I'm so sick and tired of doing that. I want him near me. I want, just this once, to be near him and talk to him again even if that brings guilt later. "It was just a nightmare," I mutter. 

"You could tell me about it, if you like" He offered.

If I tell him what my nightmare was about he could get angry. I mean, obviously I wouldn't tell him everything about how much I'm in love with him but the basic concept of Seamus being there and everything might upset him. However, my want to talk to him even if it is about something like this overcomes me, so I say, "It... it was just a nightmare about Seamus. I just... he seemed so angry at me and like it was my fault he died and there was this whole claustrophobic thing with the walls and... it's stupid." I finish off lamely.

Aleks tensed up a little bit when I mentioned Seamus but he relaxed almost immediately and kept rubbing my back in comfort. When I finished he was silent for a moment, and I feared that I could have possibly made him mad. Instead, when he spoke his words sounded nothing but loving, "It's okay. It was just a dream, and I'm here for you now. It wasn't your fault at all. You're okay now, I'll listen to any nightmare you have."

When he said he was here for me I just about died, it makes me feel like some sort of fangirl or something, but I do have such deep rooted feelings for Aleks and to hear him speak so fondly of me fills me with content, and it lets me push away the guilt that I shouldn't be with him. 

"Thank you, Aleks, thank you so much." I say, he truly did make me feel better, and I hope I didn't show in my voice that I love him.

With all these thoughts running through my head about Aleks, I wasn't actually paying attention to his actions, and I wasn't prepared at all for Aleks leaning closer to me. When I finally became aware it almost seemed to late to stop what happens and I don't protest at all when he kisses me.