Chapter 17 [📱]

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The best part, for me, about being a singer was definitely recording. There's something serene and honest with just being in front of a select group of people, trying to find the perfect songs that portray who you really are. If I could I would just record all the time and not perform anywhere at all. But I knew I couldn't do that and let my fans down.

And that was exactly the reason why I was walking the Billboard Music Awards red carpet.

Thousands of people were outside and at first I was hesitant to get out of my car but knew that I was only delaying the inevitable. The moment I got down from my car, people immediately started screaming and photographers all switched their cameras to me.

"I'll be on the other end of the carpet," my bodyguard, Jackson, said. I nodded and he left me with a stressed looking man talking to a headset.

I grabbed my phone and started going through it. The last message I got was from Lauren saying they were at the venue already. Ever since that day at my hotel room, the undeniable physical attraction I had with her continued to invade my mind. However, even if we couldn't keep our hands off each other, there was still no label in our relationship. Were we dating?

Did I want to date her?

My thoughts were interrupted by the distressed man ushering me towards the red carpet. I begrudgingly made my way to the front and followed a woman yelling at me where to stand. I still wasn't used to the flashing lights blinding my eyes everywhere I went. Plus I was getting annoyed by everyone shouting my name all the damn time. But I just bit back the retorts at the end of my tongue and did what they wanted me to do.

As I looked around at the cameras, I began thinking about what's been happening with Camila and I the last few days. She's called a few times and messaged me too. It was always the same:

Camila: Y/N, can we talk?

Camila: Please answer your phone and let me explain.

Camila: Don't shut me out please talk to me. I love you

But I would just ignore her and focus on Lauren instead. There were times when ignoring her would leave a bitter taste in my mouth because if I didn't wish for her to love me, then she wouldn't be this invested in me. At the end of the day though, I can't change the mistakes I've already made.

Various shouts pulled me out from my thoughts as I realized I wasn't smiling anymore. I decided to leave the thinking until I came home from this award show. After a few more minutes, I finally found myself at the end of the red carpet and into the interviews. Luckily, Jackson was there so I told him I wasn't feeling well enough to be interviewed. I was almost inside the arena when I saw Dinah's hair in the distance. I chuckled to myself because it was like a beacon for you to know where she was.

"Jackson, let me go to my girls first. I think I see them being interviewed over there." He nodded and let me jog towards them. Once I got closer, I finally saw the five of them and immediately froze in my tracks.

Camila was wearing a backless, black dress. She had her back to me but she was standing sideways so I could still see her perfect smile. Unlike with Lauren, the sight of her didn't want to make me grab her hand and kiss her until we forgot both of our names-no. With Camila I wanted to gently caress her arm and tuck her hair behind her ear. Then tell her how beautiful she was and how lucky I was to have her next to me.

And that was the difference with Lauren and Camila. I had desire for Lauren while I had pure love and care for Camila.

The sudden knowledge made me want to step back and run the hell away from her. But then I heard Camila laugh and I couldn't help but want to know why she did so I could make her laugh the same way. Getting over Camila was going to be one arduous task.

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