Today is the day i start off doing personal diary for myself and for everyone to read. After years of living with ADHD and anxiety. Some might think its not a serious disorder. But, this is my life. No one knows what exactly is going on in my own mind. Its like a volcano. It looks peaceful and calm on the outside but inside in the mind is boiling. Only certain people with this disorder can relate whats going on.
I constantly think that i had enough with my life and i just want to leave this world. Honestly, i hate being nag by someone even with my own mom. I feel that i cant control myself even though i look calm. My mind will be black, and all i want to do is to shut their mouth, so i can start 'seeing' clear things. The noise going to my ears are blocking my brain from thinking. I get devastated after knowing the fact that im getting blame for mistakes which i dont think i did. Of course, certain mistakes i did, i have to admit, but for some mistake i didnt think is at fault, i felt so much burden and useless. Occasionally, im constantly thinking about ending my life after every argument with my girlfriend. Its not easy taking care of a mature lady. No matter what, i'll still try to hold on to this relationship because, reason is simple, shes the best thing that happened to me after a long time. My girlfriend is strong mentally but physically shes not, due to her hyperthyroid. Im still trying to change for her to be the best every single day.
Sometimes, i dont even feel like writing long. I just locked myself at work and sometimes sleep there alone. So this is how it goes for today. I'll write up again soon. :)
YOU ARE READING
War In The Mind
Short StorySome things are not meant to be told in person. Only 2 person can solve the problem. 1. Yourself 2. God Its not a story, its a diary. All stories are genuine true and lead by me. Im having SAD (Social Anxiety Disorder) and ADD/ADHD (Attention Defece...
