My Angel-Yogscast fanfiction

Chapter 14: Angst

Carys/Mia's POV
The rate at which my lungs consume air doubles, then triples. The pain of controlling Toby rips into me like a lion and it's prey. I fumble out of the room, and away from Martyn. I can't believe it, this is impossible, it can't be true! The crashing of rain, although slightly calming, does not help to situation. My shaking hands grip onto the ladder before me and I make my way down. I feel my head spin around like a merry go round. Surely, we can't be at war! The High Council would have foreseen this and sent me elsewhere...or would they? I know Sansavi has hated me since my crime, but would he happily condemn me to more suffering? It seems, my challenge is impossible. My thoughts are interrupted by a stabbing pain in my brain. Seemingly out of nowhere, although it was mentioned in the book, I collapse to the group, my muscles twitching and flicking around without any control. I need to stop this spell now!

Soon enough, I am returned to my own body. Yet, I have no control over this one either. My limbs feel weak and heavy, they are impossible to lift. My lungs are screeching for air as they burn. I feel my heart jump in and out of my chest, desperate for freedom. My vision is blurry and tinted red. I'm able to glance down and see the veins in my wrist turn to a midnight blue as my skin reveals groups of blisters.

Eventually, I regain the ability to move. The intensity of the pain begins to dull itself mildly. Barely, and with all my strength, I am able to pull out a healing potion and water bottle. My body consumes the potion with open arms and whines for more. I pour the water over my face to remove the blood from my eyes, nose, mouth and ears. I consider putting my necklace on; if anyone comes in I certainly won't be able to manipulate my way out of this! However, rightly or wrongly, I decide against it. I need my full strength and magical potential to heal, besides, the door is barricaded. Unfortunately, I don't have any more healing potions but I throw common sense out the window and down every positive effect potion I can spot. I gain slight ease from this, but nothing substantial.

The more pressing matter, no matter how hard I resist, take pride of place in my thoughts. I don't think I can persuade Martyn not to fight. But perhaps, I can convince HatFilms to surrender? It's pretty unlikely, but I've done riskier things in the past... not that they turned out great. If I can't, I'll just have to keep Martyn alive. I will keep him alive, irrespective of the costs, even if I have to kill people. I guess I'm not much of a pacifist after all, but then again, was I ever?

I begin to regain the ability to roam around properly. Combined with the, rather ill-timed, ankle injury movement is proving difficult. I better hope that Martyn doesn't intend to start training for a few days! I approach my necklace and notice the jewel is flashing slightly. I fondle with the device until a hologram appears, it's Araquiel. The urgency in her eyes makes my heart ache at what's to come.
"Carys, this isn't good! They're at war! Everyone is joining in! Maybe if it were simply bows and swords we'd be fine, but each side are preparing guns and nuclear weapons!
I'm sorry but things aren't going to get better... The High Council have contacted me and they're outraged! They are furious that we failed to stop the war or the conflict at Honeydew Inc. They said... unless we can stop the war and get a treaty signed... they're going to disable Martyn and Lewis' respawn.
If we don't stop this and they die, they stay dead! Contact me as soon as possible and keep safe." She explains and then the message ends. My jaw hangs open. If I don't protect Martyn, it's not just my life on the line. Every worried though runs though my brain. Every scenario, every possible event plays before my eyes. I feel my eyes flood with tears and my lungs fail me once again. Even my wings droop at the news.
As time passes, i regain strength. I pull myself to my feet and remove the barricades from the door and place the necklace back on my neck. I feel myself grow weaker from the suppression. It's like working at half capacity. I pull open the door to see Toby, laying unconscious, on the floor. I sneak over to him and attempt to lift him, but my body is too weak, so I must drag his body instead. I place him onto his bed and tuck him in appropriately.
"I'm sorry." I whisper. I can see, as clear as water, he will suffer from my spell more than I will. For a short while, I monitor him, ensuring he has a slow but stable recovery. Colour slowly swims back into his cheek and his muscles have stopped twitching. I leave the young man to be with peace. I hear Martyn in his bedroom, soft sobs try to hide behind the crashing of rain. I glance through the window. Curled into a ball like a dung beetle, Martyn sits on his bed. All of his trophies from Survival Games and competitions have been covered by a black cloth, consuming his memories with guilt. Even the pile of letters from villagers thanking him for saving them has been hidden. How can anyone feel like a hero right now? I knock upon his door and wait for him to answer. Yet, he is silent. I open the door and creep beside him. Hesitantly, I place an arm around him and cradle him.
"Toby told me about... you know." I tell him. Martyn ceases his tears, placing a mask over his face, just as I have done many times.
"I know you don't want to go to war." He sighs, "you don't have to fight but..."
"Neither do you!" I plead, "surely, there must be a way so attain peace."
"Mia, I'm afraid sometimes the world is more complicated than that. Besides, it's not really up to me. I've been in an alliance with Honeydew Inc since... well ever. It's been agreed since the very start, if they get in trouble I'd be there to back them up." He explains,
"I just... I don't want you to die." I beg,
"I'll just respawn." He defends
"Then what's the point? If both sides keep respawning then no one will ever win." I rationalise,
"The point of this sort of war is to destroy all of the belongings of your enemies. If they have nothing left, they'll repetitively die and have to surrender." Martyn moves away from me slightly. Humans wars are atrocious at best: people die, the land is pillaged, the whole world is traumatised. No one ever wins in these wars. All that happens is that angels have to work twice as hard and the world has to recover from torture. However, in all other wars like this one, there's at least fifty angels acting as guardians in order to sway leaders to surrender. But this time... there's two of us. Here's almost no hope for me to keep Martyn alive. I knew this was all too good to be true. I need to contact Araquiel as soon as the time is right, then, we will make a plan. It's difficult to resist falling into a pit of panic with every breath I take. My heart aches at the thought of what's to come, there's no way for me to apprehend the battles I'm about to face. It makes my stomach churn. I hate this uncertainty. I don't want to fight but I must.